The Legacy of a Calm Father Kirk Martin Ep 210

We’ve talked a lot about calm parenting techniques on GCM in the past. It’s something many of us moms have seen work. But this episode is one you may want to listen to and invite your hubby to as well!

Founder of Celebrate Calm, Kirk Martin, shares the powerful story of how he went from an angry, tough dad to a calm, coaching dad and why a dad’s role in parenting is so important.

I believe this to be true most of the time. If you do not change and if you do not forge that connection with your son, most of those boys will grow up and become angry young men… And I would tell the men too if you have a daughter and if she doesn’t know that you like her. And that you accept her as she is even if she is difficult. I guarantee when she gets to her teenage years she’s going to seek a man’s affection in some teenage boy.

What we chat about:

• Getting dads onboard with Calm Parenting techniques.
• Working with strong-willed children and how anger and tough punishments don’t work.
• Fear of failure as a parent is a strong motivator for us in discipline.
• Kids need to know that we can control ourselves as parents even when they are out control.
• Discipline means to teach, not to punish.
• It’s important to build trust with our kids so they know we have their best interests at heart.
• The idea of first-time obedience and whether it’s Biblical.
• Strong-willed children may never listen the first time and may do things their own way (but still obey).
• How our struggle to obey God often mirrors our kids’ struggle to obey.
• Leading our kids to contrition instead of demanding an apology.
• Coaching and role playing with our kids to teach them how to respond better in emotional situations.
• Think of calm techniques as a different tactic for problem solving. 
• It’s ok to give in from time to time to keep from going crazy (not the same as being “soft”).
• Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now and see what the response is.

Links Mentioned:

• Men’s CD or download: “I Want To Be A Good Dad & Husband!” (2 CDs, 2 hours)  
• How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing & Power Struggles   Episode 62
• Calmly Parenting the Strong Willed Child  Episode 69
• Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide  Episode 77
• How to Stay Calm with School Stress Episode 88
• Q & A with Kirk Martin Episode 104
• 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments Episode 139

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