Candace Cameron Bure is an actress, producer, New York Times bestselling author, beloved by millions worldwide from her role as D.J. Tanner on the iconic family sitcoms Full House and Fuller House and of course Hallmark Channel movies. (Christmas is coming and she has a new one coming out Nov. 25)

But, she’s also a mom of three children ages 16 to 20 and an outspoken Christian in the entertainment industry. She shares what it was like to grow up working in entertainment and the values her parents passed on to her. And about how she walks out her faith now as a busy working actress, a career she returned to after choosing to be a stay-at-home mom for 10 years.

We talk about her new children’s book “Candace Center Stage” and how it focuses on the values of hard work and courage, especially for our strong-willed children.

As she takes us into her world, she talks through how she stays calm and kind under pressure and lives for Jesus as she juggles the roles and the callings God has put on her life.

For day two of Don’t Mom Alone Live, Jim and Lynne Jackson are back to talk all about relationships and answer listener questions.

If you’ve ever felt like a bad parent because of your child’s disobedience or struggle to referee the sibling arguments and fights in your home, this episode is for you! The Jackson’s share their Peace process and how to be confident before God in how you are parenting.

It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So we need to have confidence in our ability to be peaceful and not let this child’s behavior define me or tell me that I’m a bad parent. And have the long-term view that God can do anything in a child’s life as I persevere in encouraging and teaching and training.

They share great practicals for blended families and for how to navigate parenting when you and your spouse or co-parent aren’t on the same page. We also dive into teaching your children empathy and social cues as a way to foster great friendships.

In the end, our goal can be to equip our kids to be conduits of God’s grace to the world both through their relationships with others, but it starts with their relationship with us.

When I thought about that the kind of relationships in life that Jesus bought for our kids on the cross, not just with each other but whatever relationships they’d have. I just had this image of “trickle down grace” starting from the cross and just trickling down through us to our kids and then out to the world and our kids. We can grow to become profound dispensers of grace in life to others.

What we chat about:

• Getting feedback about our kids that makes you feel like a “bad parent”
• Keeping the long-view when you are training your children
• There is a dramatic increase in anxiety and depression in children, teens and young adults. It is five to eight times greater than it was 50 years ago.
• What to do when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with parenting
• Ask penetrating questions when your spouse is struggling to parent in kindness.
• “What are you hoping our kids will learn right now?”
• Blended family dynamics and how to co-parent well
• You are building trust with your kids and when you are confident before God in how you are parenting, you can be at peace with how someone else is parenting
• Ask kids: What do you want to tell me about how you’re feeling and how your time went?
• Sibling rivalry and how conflict is an opportunity to teach our children how to reconcile
• The Peace Process the Jackson’s teach: Calm > Understand > Solve > Celebrate
• Celebrating that your kids reconciled is an important step to future success
• When your kids feel encouraged and successful when working through conflict, you can see the momentum begin to change
• Learning empathy as a family and equipping your kids to be more successful in friendship
• Quick connects with individually with your kids can be more effective than playing with them for longer periods. Find ways to show that you delight in who they are!
• Use mission trips and giving back to the community as your vacation/connection time as a family

Links Mentioned:

• Previous Episodes with Jim & Lynne — Ep 80 , Ep 81, Ep 98, Ep 200, Bonus Sibling Conflict
• SocialThinking.com
• “You are a Social Detective” book **
• How to Develop Empathy in Kids (Part 1)
• How to Develop Empathy in Kids (Part 2)

For the first part of our 2018 Don’t Mom Alone live event, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, joined me & my husband Bruce to answer listener questions about discipline and how to use their framework for biblically-based parenting.

We share lots of stories of how we have failed as parents and learned along the way.

But then I started to realize maybe my humility was my greatest currency for influence to help her learn the lessons and the values and the things that mattered most… Our kids need to know we’re not perfect. They need to know that we’ll come back to them and say, ‘Hey I blew it. I’m sorry. Would you forgive me?’ And get back to reconciliation in those relationships. — Jim Jackson.

So good!

Jim and Lynne talk us through the parenting framework they’ve developed and redefining how we view discipline with our kids. Ultimately, it comes down to connecting with their hearts and leading them to Jesus instead of trying to control their behavior.

We can help kids embrace the wisdom of the righteous. And that really prepares the way for the Lord to come in our family in a strong way. Because in today’s day and age with all the craziness that’s going on, these kids need a form of discipline that’s not just about punitive correction but that’s about a whole way of life that teaches our kids how to be followers of Jesus. — Lynne Jackson

And it’s not just vision for how we want to parent, the Jacksons also share some super practical tips and give us some ways to respond to our defiant, strong-willed or sensitive kids.

What we chat about:

• The basis for Jim and Lynn’s parenting framework
• How do you parent proactively instead of reactively when you feel like you’re just surviving minute
• What is our goal in parenting? Is it immediate obedience from our children or fostering their ability to make wise choices?
• Bringing God’s grace into our messy moments
• Why connecting with God is so essential to how we parent
• Go into a situation asking, “Lord, what is the opportunity here?”
• Helping our kids build wisdom instead of feeling the need to express our disappointment when they mess up
• Trusting that our kids really want to do better
• Separating behavior from identity in our kids
• Humility and apologizing well may be our greatest currency as a parent
• The idea of a parent do-over
• Tips for parents of younger kids and encouragement for parenting kids who bite or hit
• We tend to think of behavior as either all good or all bad
• When our goal is to control their behavior, it doesn’t build trust
• You don’t have to be mean to be strong as a parent
• Big, loud, and loving energy can make a big difference in the middle of conflict
• Luke 1:17- “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
• Strong-willed kids and the importance of calling out their giftings and how God made them
• Sometimes it’s sensitive and intense children are labeled as strong-willed
• Psalm 73:21-24 “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.”

Links Mentioned:

• Previous Episodes with Jim & Lynne — Ep 80 , Ep 81, Ep 98, Ep 200, Bonus Sibling Conflict
• Connected Families Blog Post — It’s Not Defiance, It’s Science 
• Connected Families Blog post- Danger, Obedience, and Teaching Kids Traffic Safety

Tricia Goyer is an author, speaker and homeschooling mom of ten. She also knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. If you’ve ever felt alone in how to calm your “angry kid(s),” Tricia has a lot of wisdom to share from parenting both biological and adopted children.

In true Don’t Mom Alone fashion, Tricia and I answer several listener questions about how to respond in love and help kids of all ages process their anger and emotions. We talk about how much harder it is for the current generation of moms who have to factor in busier schedules, social media and more as a part of their children’s environments

My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 8. It is so much harder now. I feel like I’m on the second generation of kids. Now there is social media. There is more television. There are more video games. The access that they have to all these things brings so much anxiety and tension. Not only do they have to go to school, but then they would come home and see on social media that people were talking about them. It’s just so much more involved now even than it was when I had my first generation of kids.

But it’s not impossible! Tricia shares so many great practical tips and suggestions for how to help our kids (and ourselves) work through anger in a healthy way. But beyond all the tips, it all comes down to leaning into God and praying for the Holy Spirit to fill them that will make the biggest difference.

It’s really the Holy Spirit in them and the fruit of the Spirit is God in them that’s going to change them. I could try all these activities. You know, we could do calming bags or coping skills. I mean we do all the things too. But really it is God in them. And the more they lean on God and the more they depend on him that they’ll truly change.

What we chat about:

• Tricia’s family, career and unique calling as an adoptive parent
• Her new book, Calming Angry Kids
• Determining if your child is struggling with how to process anger in a healthy way
• Giving our kids time, attention and praise is a powerful antidote to anger
• Everyone gets mad, what we do with the anger makes the difference
• When they are in the middle of the emotions, it’s not the time to discipline them
• Kids learn to apologize when we model it for them
• Anger is often a secondary emotion from a deeper wounding like shame or feeling unloved or anxiety
• Family schedules are busier than ever before and it heightens anxiety in kids and parents
• Take time to process emotions with your kids and say “No” to more activities or events if they need a break
• Tricia shares both how we can process our own anger and how to help our angry kids
• The idea of an anger log to help track anger over time
• Calming bags and items you can include in them
• Give your kids time and space to calm down
• Specific tips for pre-teens and teens and helping them with anger and hormones

Links Mentioned:

• Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind **
• Prayer Journals
  • Big Kids **
  • Little Kids **
• An Interview with Tricia Goyer {GCM Podcast Ep. 7}
• How to Discern God’s Will Stick With It :: Tricia Goyer [Ep 179]

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.

My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.

But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.

If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.

I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.

What we chat about:

• Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
• The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
• Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
• The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
• Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
• Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
• How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
• Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
• When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
• Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
• Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
• How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
• Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven

Links Mentioned:

• Front Porch with the Fitzes Podcast
• Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick **
• The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas Chalmers**
• No Other Gods Bible Study Book by Kelly Minter**

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

It’s all too easy slip into believing lies over God’s truth. My guest today shares that healing is possible and opens up about her personal healing journey from both physical and emotional abuse and chronic illness.

An author, radio host, and national speaker, Susie Larson, talks about how intertwined our emotional, spiritual, and physical health are. We talk through stories that are in her new book, “Fully Alive”, and she shares about some powerful experiences she’s had with the Lord.

“The Lord whispered through the chaos in my bathroom. The storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need. The enemy’s railing and saying I’m going to get you. I’ve got you by the throat and I felt like my throat was starting I could swallow and my esophagus was spasming. It’s just horrifying to hear the whisper again. Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth who need.”

There’s so much hope and truth in this episode for all of us who are believing for healing this side of heaven. For more inspiration from Susie, I highly recommend her book, “Fully Alive”**, which is available for pre-order right now.

What we chat about:

• Susie’s experiences with abuse both physical and emotional
• How our bodies hold onto trauma and hindrances to the healing process
• Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need
• The idea of blessing guilt and surrendering to God for healing
• The lie of learned helplessness and the truth that we’re not helpless with Jesus
• Rejecting the lies of the enemy and addressing unbeliefs in our soul
• Confronting the scar tissue of our past and the life that’s on the other side of it
• God absolutely heals and it isn’t specifically a lack of faith that keeps us from receiving healing
• Jesus entered in to other’s pain and suffering, that’s our calling too
• The dangers of over medication and distraction that can keep us from being healed
• The integral role of rest in the healing process

Links Mentioned:

• The Uncommon Woman
• Fully Alive: Learning to Flourish–Mind, Body, and Spirit**
• Your Powerful Prayers**

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

So much of the Old Testament in the Bible is devoted to the traditions and celebrations of the Jewish faith. It is all a part of the rich heritage that Jesus was born into and the prophecies he fulfills. As Christians, we often skim over the Jewish feasts and traditions and focus on the New Testament.

My friend Amber Lee shares why we should all consider celebrating one or more of the traditional Jewish feasts and how the rhythm of pausing and celebrating the Lord’s provision can be a life-giving practice for you and your family.

For me it’s a gift that the Lord continues to unfold. It’s like a dad saying, ‘Hey, here’s a way to live life better. Here’s something that is better for your soul. If you would just pause the crazy rat race that you’re running for just a minute, for just two hours, and talk with people that you love about what’s going on.’

We talk about the various feasts and about the practice of keeping the Sabbath. But, more importantly, we acknowledge that participating in these traditions is not about being a better Christian or another thing to put on your to do list. It’s really about intentionally pausing life to celebrate God and inviting others into that celebration.

And in each of the feasts, there’s this foreshadowing of bringing in the Gentile or bringing in the outsider. I think it’s just beautiful and the Lord saying it was always my intent to include everyone.

What we chat about:

• How and why Amber started celebrating feasts
• The biblical background of Jewish feasts and how Jesus interacted with them
• It’s about pausing and celebrating how the Lord has provided
• The names and differences between the various feasts
• The way the feasts were meant to include outsiders and Gentiles
• Learnings about Jewish traditions and observing the Sabbath
• The Sabbath is really about pausing with intention and processing life with the Lord
• All about the feast of Pentecost and how the layers of prophecy fulfillment enrich the understanding of all that Jesus did
• How to start with Jewish feasts and tips for starting in small ways

Links Mentioned:

• Website to learn more –> Hebrew4Christians
• Celebrating Jesus and the Biblical Feasts**
• Celebrating Biblical Feasts**

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed.

Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created.

And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land.

She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us.

As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow.

What we chat about:

• All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church
• Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it
• The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created
• Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children
• Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming
• Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people
• Why equipping kids early is important
• Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us
• Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable
• Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities

Other books/sites that Dorena recommends: 

• Brownicity.com site with helpful resources (created by a Godly woman Dr. Lucretia Berry)
• The Beatitudes by Carole Boston Weatherford
• The Other Side  by Jacqueline Woodson
• Beabridgebuilder.com
• A list of 28 picture books (aren’t about boycotts, buses or basketball)  –listed created by ScottWood

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Contemporary Christian musicians Chris Rademaker and Jodi King followed God’s call to pursue a musical adventure as the husband-wife duo Love & The Outcome. They share their experiences of selling their home, walking through grief, newlywed life on the road as musicians and their transition into parenting.

Jodi especially talks through how she leans on the Holy Spirit in her parenting, managing expectations and other people’s reactions.

I’ve had to learn how to just know the Holy Spirit. So in the moments when we’re in public and I’m parenting, I focus on Him. It’s so easy to turn and see everyone else’s reaction to what I just did was or I can just try and do my best to really listen to the Holy Spirit in the moment so that I can feel confident in my decisions.

I love how Chris and Jodi open up about playing shows and bringing their two young sons Milo and Ziggy along for the ride. There’s so much encouragement for moms of littles in this episode, including letting our standards slip a little so we can still experience community even if it’s messy and involves take-out food instead of handcrafted meals.

Maybe it’s just a season. But maybe it’s forever. I don’t really know what the Lord has. But letting go of some of my ideals has been so good. I have to acknowledge that I have a 2.5-year-old and a 1-year-old. Life looks like this right now, and it is the dream if I choose to be present to it and enjoy it.

What we chat about:

• When Jodi and Chris met and started a touring band
• Their Enneagram types and how they work together as a couple
• How the Lord directed their path through grief and loss
• Parenting and challenges that come when touring with kids
• Dwelling in the Holy Spirit to make decisions
• Transitions in parenting and learning to lean into the Holy Spirit vs worrying what others think
• The concessions you make to connect with community when you are in a busy season
• Freeing yourself up from pre-conceived plans of what life “should” look like
• A new way to look at living the dream and choosing to be present in what your life is like now

Links Mentioned:

• The God I Know music video
• The King of My Heart music video
• He is With Us music video
• L&TO albums: These Are the Days** &  Love & The Outcome**

**Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

It’s an uncomfortable and often controversial subject, especially in the church, but homosexuality and same sex attraction is something we all need to understand from a Biblical perspective. This week’s guest Jackie Hill Perry shares how the power of the gospel in her life rescued her from the sin she was living in as a woman with same sex attractions.

She not only brings us into her amazing story, but absolutely preaches the word of God and brings a lot of clarity to what can feel like a gray area for many Christians.

My conscience would not allow me to shake the truth that Jesus died for sin and that he is not pleased with sin at all. So I tried my best to shake him and I couldn’t…And I felt God speak to my heart and say that my girlfriend or my sin would be the death of me. That the wages of sin equals death. Because I saw it wasn’t my girlfriend or my lesbianism alone. It was that my entire life would be the death of me.

Jackie shares stories and insights from her new book Gay Girl, Good God. She also answers listener questions about how to share God’s love with LGBTQ friends and family by treating them as a whole person and keeping the gospel centered on God’s truth and not culture’s.

Often the hardest assignments in our lives bring us the greatest good. I’ve seen it to be true in my own life. And have walked this Truth with friends on their journeys. 

In this episode I’ve invited my friends Alice and Candace to share their stories of adoption. And the process of discovering their adopted children have special needs. We also discuss how God has led them each into new ministries because of the children He’s brought into their families. 

I love seeing God’s purpose for Alice & Candace unfold alongside their leaning on Him for strength and guidance. Not to mention how they follow Him obediently with humor and grace!

I don’t know if God made Millie have autism or if that is a result of living in a fallen world. That’s something that I question every day. But I do know that the struggles that she has had more than anything else have shaped our family in a way that I think brings glory to God, more than the easy and fun and good things.–Alice

In the thick of parenting it is easy to get our perspective skewed or react to our children from a place of emotion or our own sin. My guest Dr. Paul David Tripp gives a course-correcting pep talk reminding parents of their deep calling from God and how to look at discipline as an opportunity to connect our kids with God’s goodness.

“You’re never just dealing with behavior. You’re always dealing with what controls the child’s behavior and that’s his heart. And if God consciousness doesn’t rule my heart, self orientation will. That’s what has to change. No I can’t create that change, but I can I can give God’s Spirit an opportunity again and again to work in the heart of my child”

Tripp  is a pastor, international event speaker, and best-selling author. As a father of four grown children, he shares candidly from his own experience. This encouraging episode is packed with a lot of truth! Share with your spouse and friends!

What we chat about:

• The deeper calling of on our lives as parents
• We cannot rely on our kids to give us hope for parenting them.
• How opening our children’s eyes to see God everywhere pulls them away from a self centered existence.
• God created the world so that it’s very physical nature reveals him.
• Root the rules that you have for your children in God’s goodness and his love and His grace.
• Every opportunity we have to discipline or correct is not an opportunity first to threaten  with punishment but to talk about how good God is.
• Ask the question, “What is God wanting to do in the heart of this child?”
• Behavior is really about a child’s heart orientation
• God way of parenting isn’t efficient, but it is transformational  .
• The values of the world push against our calling as parents. We have to consider where we are placing our treasure and hope.
• A God perspective for how to respond when your children sin
• God is exposing something in my child so I can be part of his help and rescue.
• Parenting is about planting seeds. We aren’t going to see them bloom overnight.
• Dealing with rebellion and authority issues with grace and consequences
• Parenting adopted children and helping them with identity

In a time when biblical truth is often narrowed down to a greeting card slogan or a small subset of feel-good encouragements, the She Reads Truth community takes a different approach. The bible studies and reading plans from She Reads Truth take a deep dive into scripture with the goal to understand the big picture of who God is throughout history and our need for his grace.

SRT co-founder and CEO Raechel Myers shares the community’s origin and her personal story of encountering God’s goodness amidst the loss of her daughter. Jump in to hear Raechel share her heart for studying scripture and relying on the Holy Spirit in the difficult places of parenting.

I can base my understanding of God on the 36 years that I’ve experienced with him, but that is a mistake. God’s story is so far back before I ever existed. And so one of the important reasons that we read the Bible is to understand the broader story of who God is and how I fit into his story, not how he fits into mine.

What we chat about:

• Raechel’s writing background and the purpose behind her first blog
• How God trained and equipped Raechel through various experiences before She Reads Truth began
• The origin of the She Reads Truth community
• Taking God’s word for what it is and not relying too heavily on devotionals or feel-good scriptures alone
• She Reads Truth has options for everything from free reading plans to beautiful, bound books
• A new children’s story book they’ve produced called This Is the Gospel
• Addressing faith and trusting that God is who he says he is with your older kids
• Why scripture plays such a key role in our understanding of who God is beyond our own experience with him
• The importance of modeling Christian life for our children’s spiritual formation

“They just keep fighting!”

Summer, for us, means lots of unstructured time together as a family. Which is great. . . until it’s not.

Perhaps you can identify. Maybe you see yourself in one of the following situations:

Situation #1 – The kids are fighting – again! The harder you try to make it stop, the worse it seems to get – and the kids seem more and more resentful.

Situation #2 – One minute they love each other and the next minute they’re arch enemies. The older they get the louder and angrier it gets. You hate the way this affects everyone’s mood, including your own.

Situation #3 – Time-outs, required apologies, and firmness temporarily curb the fighting, but it soon comes back with more intensity.

Situation #4 – Your young kids are beginning their rivalry and you worry where it’s heading if you don’t learn some better strategies.  (copied from Sibling Conflict Online Course description).

Jim & Lynne Jackson from ConnectedFamilies.org are back to equip us in training our children to solve conflict well. And instead of just wishing they would “just stop fighting”, to recognize the gospel work of guiding our family to reconciliation.

Jim & Lynne have been on the show before sharing their fabulous 4-layer framework for discipline that connects (Listen here to Episode 80 & 81). And again helping connect in any situation (Ep 98). And recently helping us work with our kids on all of our entitlement issues (Ep 200)

Today, they are talking us through The Peace Process. A simple but effective way to guide our kids to a lifetime of reconciled relationships. Here’s their great graphic with the four steps moving us from “crazy mountain” to peaceful reconciliation (Click here to print your own copy):

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Conflict is inevitable. Instead of just getting frustrated and annoyed, I’ve found having a plan to reconnect hearts and train empathy so helpful. I also loved all the phrases Jim & Lynne modeled to use as we guide our children through the process. Here are some of my favorites (I’ll be bookmarking this page and referring to often):

• “Sounds like y’all are having a hard time. Do you need my help or are you able to work it out on your own?”
• “Solving brains won’t work until we’re calm. Why don’t we each find a comfortable place. How long do you need? 5 min? 10 min? Then we’ll come back together to work this out.”
• “Did you hear that? How does she feel? Do you like that what you did made her feel that way? You two are listening to each other. How does that feel?”
• “Your big feelings are a gift. And they are an even greater gift with you can use them to help understand other’s big feelings.”
• “What’s going on? What was important to each person? How have you solved this problem before? Would you like to think of ways to solve the problem or do you want me to help give you choices on how to solve it?”
• “Are there four things you could say that are kind and true about that person?”

Lastly, if you need more help learning how to guide your kiddos through the peace process, check out Jim & Lynne’s new SIBLING CONFLICT ONLINE COURSE. I’ll be working through it this summer. Join me!  

What we chat about:

• Considering your own baggage/sibling situation as you rush into your kids’ conflict.
• Are we trying to get conflict to stop or teach reconciliation?
• The four steps to “The Peace Process”. 
• A real life example of applying peace process.
• How training in reconciliation helps our kids in their future marriages and relationships.
• Helping our kids learn how to solve the problem of the conflict (a 3-step process).
• A scenario of a more empathetic child in conflict with a more strong-willed child–growing specific skills in kids.
• Addressing the differences in your kids outside of conflict.
• Help for the mom who has a child with special needs in the sibling mix.
• Connecting with others based not on experience but emotion.
• Tips for conflicts that happen right before you have to leave the house.

You desire your children to walk with God. But how do you lead them to that place?

Is that only your husband’s job? What if you are a single mom or functionally single mom?

What about your role as a leader in your faith community? Should women leaders be gentle and quiet?

Today’s guest is Jen Wilkin, author of “None Like Him” and “Women of the Word”.  She debunks some myths we believe about spiritual leadership, inside and outside of the home.

Her desire is for women to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. To study with both their hearts and their minds. To know God and who He is. Then from knowing Him and His character see how He crafted us uniquely and our high worth in His eyes.

In this episode Jen and I chat about spiritual leadership. How we can expand the definition of what we think that means. How leading our children changes over the years. How her own single mom prayed fervently for her and for God to grow big in her life.

We also discuss how to be a spiritual leader in your community. How to manage that responsibility with humility and boldness. And how women need to not just see cute Instagram posts but know who God is from His Word.

What we chat about:

• Jen’s young mom journey with three kids in four years.
• The need for accountability and structure in studying the Bible as a young mom.
• How the Wilkins describe leading children spiritual–the differences over the years.
• Tips for the woman who is spiritually leading her children.
• Expanding the definition of “spiritual leader” in the home.
• Jen’s journey of spiritual growth having a single mom.
• Self-reflection asking “Am I stepping on people? Limiting the contribution of others?”
• How to be a woman in spiritual leadership/ministry.
• What do you do if women think you are more “spiritual” than them.
• How to be grounded in theWord and not cute, Instagram posts.
• What does it mean that God is transcendent.

Links Mentioned:

• Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna**
• When Dad Doesn’t Disciple by Jen Wilkin
• None Like Him by Jen Wilkin **
• In His Image by Jen Wilkin**
• Flower Mound Women’s Bible Study
• Jen’s Bible Study at the Village Church this Fall on Genesis
• Jen’s Published Bible Studies –>
  • Sermon on the Mount**
  • 1 Peter: A Living Hope in Christ**
  • God of Creation : Study of Genesis 1-11**

“In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Pain is inevitable. In James we are told to “consider it all joy” when we encounter trials. James also wrote to ask God for wisdom and He will give it generously. Which I realized from a sermon this week has more to do with wisdom we gain from the challenging circumstances, not necessarily wisdom to get out of them.

But how many of us share our broken places with others? How often do we wait until the pain has passed and life is back to “normal” to share and minister to others? What if God longs for you to offer up the wisdom you are gaining in the midst of the challenge?

This week’s guest is Dr. Peggy Banks (Global Ministry Director for TWR Women of Hope). I’m a big Peggy fan. Years ago she discipled me in a deeper understanding of God and His Spirit in me. She modeled how to pray intimately with my heavenly Father. She taught me all the Spirit does in and through us. She inspired me with her passion for women around the world to know the healing available through Jesus Christ.

In this episode Peggy shares her own painful places. A past that includes abuse. A journey of learning to trust and stop striving in performance. She encourages us to meet with Jesus daily. And what that looks like for her. Peggy encourages us to gather with others in small groups to spur each other on in our spiritual journeys. Sharing what He is doing and lifting one another up in the process.

Peggy was a minister of Spiritual formation at my church for years. And now she leads a global ministry to women, TWR Women of Hope. God is using her pain for a purpose. Every day women around the world are hearing the gospel in their own language through the power of the airwaves. As a podcaster, I’m so inspired by the work of Women of Hope and Trans World Radio.

“As a small Army-surplus transmitter went on the air in Tangier, Morocco, in early 1954, the first step had been taken toward the development the world’s largest evangelical media organization” – Trans World Radio

Such a cool idea to realize the gospel has been traveling via airways since the 50s. What a joy to join Him in the work of spreading the good news!

What we chat about:

• Peggy’s hidden pain while looking perfect on the outside and performing for approval.
• The “spiritual mom” who helped Peggy get healing from the bondage and brokenness of abuse.
• Learning to vulnerably share your struggles with those you are leading.
• Advice for the listener who is in the middle of the painful place.
• What does it mean “to be with Jesus”.
• Gathering together with a group to be real and share your current pain.
• How Peggy’s tattoos helped her minister to a specific group of women.
• Peggy’s personal mission statement: “Helping hurting women around the world helping to find hope and healing in the person of Jesus Christ.”

Links Mentioned:

• **If you or someone you know is involved in a domestic abuse situation, here is an online resource:
  • Focus Ministries

  • National 24-hour Women of Substance Crisis Intervention Hotline: 1-866-862-2873

  • National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

  • Peace and Safety in the Christian Home: www.peaceandsafety.com

  • FaithTrust Institute: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

• TWR Women of Hope –in 70+ different languages
• Trans World Radio (twr)
• “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1)
• “Power of the Other” by Henry Cloud **
• “Translating God”  by Shawn Bolz**
• “No Longer Slaves” by Jonathan Helser
• Video message from Peggy about Women of Hope

Teens. Toddlers. Moms.

No matter the age. We all struggle to remember (or know) the truth about who God says we are. And our position in Christ.

When we forget, we let friends, circumstances, or lies feed our souls with identity. And that takes us down the path of uncertainty,  harmful activities and a broken path.

Thankfully, today’s guest, Kristen Hatton, helps “Get Your Story Straight”.

When her daughter was in 6th grade, Kristen started teaching her and a group of friends truth from the Bible. Unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of great resources available for preteens/teens. So she used notes from her husband’s sermons and wrote her own Bible study. (click here to check it out)**

In this episode, Kristen and I talk about the struggle for our kids to know how “justification” applies to daily life. (And define what ‘justification’ means).

We also chat about how to help teens navigate the challenges of social media. And Kristen vulnerably shares her daughter’s battle with an eating disorder (which began with internalizing social media posts).

Lastly, Kristen helps us start to keep communication open with our kids. So when they are teens they will keep talking. I’m in the stage with lots of little people all trying to be with me and talk to me (at the same time). But after three blinks I’ll have a home full of teen boys. The time I spend listening now will impact how much they talk to me in the future.

Very thankful for the help, perspective and wisdom from Kristen. Now I can see the teenage years as an age of opportunity not a season to be feared.

What we chat about:

• How quickly our kiddos grow into teenagers.
• How Kristen saw a need for good bible study materials for teens.
• Helping our kids be anchored in who God says we are (not who their friends on social media says they are).
• Importance of teaching our kids the concept of justification.
• When the world is measuring perfection and performance but we know we are only perfect in Christ.
• How to communicate worth and identity to our kids.
• Why teens stop talking to their parents.
• Listening and asking probing questions.
• Responding with grace instead of condemnation.
• How internalizing social media posts led to her daughter’s eating disorder.
• How boys struggle with social media.
• How Kristen talks to her kids about the impact of social media.
• Talking to your sons & daughters about pornography. Keeping an open conversation.
• Reorienting your kids to the message of the gospel, moment-to-moment

Links Mentioned:

• Get Your Story Straight: A Teen’s Guide to Learning and Living the Gospel by Kristen Hatton**
• The depressing Eggo commercial
• Why Teens Don’t Talk to Their Parents
• Connected Families–Jim & Lynn Jackson (Ep 80)–“You are Safe” message
• Birds and Bees? Oh Help Me, Please with Mary Flo Ridley {Ep 25}
• Eating Disorder Resources–article by Kristen
• Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens, Second Edition (Resources for Changing Lives)

No matter the battleground . . . Marriage challenges. Child struggles. Health trials. Overwhelming circumstances. How do you maneuver the daily attacks that rob your joy and peace?

This week’s mentor is Jan Greenwood, author and pastor of equipping at Gateway Church in Southlake, TX. In 2009, Jan was diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer. After the first battle, she experienced years of healing. Then four days shy of her 6 year recovery anniversary, cancer resurged in her body.

In this episode, Jan shares what God’s taught her about waging war. And how the football term #squareup impacted her battle strategies differently from the first and second time she fought cancer. Jan shares what it means for her to rest and let God fight for her. And encourages each of us to get a word and direction from the Lord for our unique situations.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from this episode:

This time my mindset has had to become one of agreement and not one of opposition. And squaring up is not about being steadfast in the Word of God, but its really about can I square up in such a manner that I can look at Jesus and trust Him.

I’m not very brave and not very strong. When I’m weak there’s a strength that shines through. And when I’m afraid, He makes me courageous.

I know how to fight but I don’t know how to rest.

What we chat about:

• How God spoke to Jan at the news of cancer’s resurgence.
• How Jan found comfort in her son’s football word “square up”.
• The difference between how Jan has fought cancer the first time and the second time.
• What “square up” means for her in this season.
• The story behind the hashtag Jan uses: #bravestronggirl.
• How her battle with cancer impacts her mothering.
• Jan’s desire to get women to war together instead against each other.
• The revelation to choose life and not succumb to death.
• What rest looks like in Jan’s every day.
• How you need your own word and direction from God.

Links Mentioned:

• “Women at War: Declaring a Cease-fire on Toxic Female Relationships” ** (womenatwar.com)
• The #SquareUp story on her site JanGreenwood.me
• Brave Strong Girl — The Invitation — A Collaborative Devotional 

**Amazon Affiliate Link

Chrystal is a real life friend. And one wise woman. Since this episode went live three years ago, she’s become. . .a grandmother to two adorable kiddos! But I’ll give you a tip. . .before you call her Granny. . . Chrystal prefers the title “MMC” (aka, “Mother of the Mother of the Child” ;).

In twelve years of parenting I’ve learned a thing or two. I’ve gained confidence in my ability to handle high fevers, distinguish between a backhoe digger and a tractor, and (somewhat regularly) plan weekly meals.

But most days I feel just as clueless as my first day home from the hospital.  When I sat on the closet floor cried buckets while cradling a screaming newborn. And had no idea how to stop either of our tears.

These days it’s sibling arguments I fear may rival world wars. Or strong wills that no military force could conquer. Or the noise, chaos and never-ending mess that leave me feeling like a pair of dirty socks in the spin cycle.

But I have one strategy that always helps. . .

Asking moms who’ve gone before me for perspective. Showing me what matters and what doesn’t. Helping me navigate these days with faith and grace.

On today’s podcast I’ve invited Chrystal Evans Hurst, mom to five to fill our mom hearts with nuggets of truth and wisdom.

What we talked about:

• The realization Chrystal had when she turned 40
• What Chrystal wants to make sure every mom knows
• The parenting advice Corrie Ten Boom gave Chuck Swindoll
• How to handle the shame or blame from those around us
• How to grow in confidence as a mother
• How to help and give grace to new moms
• How knowing the commonalities between ages 2, 12, 20 helps you parent better
• How to be the compassionate counselor to your children
• How to calmly set boundaries and appropriately direct emotions
• What God can accomplish and inspire you through prayer
• The impact of how your face communicates acceptance
• Three final tips Chrystal wants moms to know

Links Mentioned:

• Chrystal on Ep 172 “Rescuing the Girl Inside You” 
• Chrystal’s Chronicles Podcast
• “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5
• Toni Morrison on Oprah (video below. . .if reading via email click here)

Our first featured mentor is the fabulous Sheila Walsh!!

“God had no grandchildren. He only had sons and daughters. Faith is something you have to choose for yourself.”

Those words started Sheila Walsh on a journey to know God and His love for her. From the tragic death of her father to professional success as 700 club co-host to discover freedom and peace in a psychiatric ward, Sheila shares a bit of her beautiful broken story.

“Suffering can be a gift from God. Because it really draws you closer to His heart. And a greater understanding that it’s never about me getting it right its about Christ who came to make everything right.”

This may be a “top ten favorite” interview for me. I’ve been a fan of Sheila and her work for years. But her wisdom and God’s grace in this episode ministered to me in a way and time that I needed most. Resonating with my soul that “through the broken places Christ’s love is closest to us.”

We also talk about fun ways to share the good news of God’s Word with your kids. How to keep the conversation open and allow our kids to ask hard, unanswerable questions. To give them the freedom to speak truth and know it doesn’t change God’s love for them.

What we chat about:

• Sheila’s incredible testimony
• How brokenness is where God brings His love to us
• The story behind “Gigi, God’s Little Princess” series
• Fun ideas of how the Walsh family did “devotion time”
• Allowing our kids to be free to speak truth and ask hard questions
• Her latest book in “The Bible is My Best Friend” series to help lead your child to Jesus

Links Mentioned:

• Will, God’s Mighty Warrior**
• Gigi, God’s Little Princess**
• Passion Conferences
• The Bible is My Best Friend Bible Storybook**
• The Bible is My Best Friend Family Devotional**
• Where Do I Find Jesus?**

**Amazon Affiliate Link

We’ve talked a lot about calm parenting techniques on GCM in the past. It’s something many of us moms have seen work. But this episode is one you may want to listen to and invite your hubby to as well!

Founder of Celebrate Calm, Kirk Martin, shares the powerful story of how he went from an angry, tough dad to a calm, coaching dad and why a dad’s role in parenting is so important.

I believe this to be true most of the time. If you do not change and if you do not forge that connection with your son, most of those boys will grow up and become angry young men… And I would tell the men too if you have a daughter and if she doesn’t know that you like her. And that you accept her as she is even if she is difficult. I guarantee when she gets to her teenage years she’s going to seek a man’s affection in some teenage boy.

What we chat about:

• Getting dads onboard with Calm Parenting techniques.
• Working with strong-willed children and how anger and tough punishments don’t work.
• Fear of failure as a parent is a strong motivator for us in discipline.
• Kids need to know that we can control ourselves as parents even when they are out control.
• Discipline means to teach, not to punish.
• It’s important to build trust with our kids so they know we have their best interests at heart.
• The idea of first-time obedience and whether it’s Biblical.
• Strong-willed children may never listen the first time and may do things their own way (but still obey).
• How our struggle to obey God often mirrors our kids’ struggle to obey.
• Leading our kids to contrition instead of demanding an apology.
• Coaching and role playing with our kids to teach them how to respond better in emotional situations.
• Think of calm techniques as a different tactic for problem solving. 
• It’s ok to give in from time to time to keep from going crazy (not the same as being “soft”).
• Try doing the opposite of what you are doing now and see what the response is.

Links Mentioned:

• Men’s CD or download: “I Want To Be A Good Dad & Husband!” (2 CDs, 2 hours)  
• How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing & Power Struggles   Episode 62
• Calmly Parenting the Strong Willed Child  Episode 69
• Summer (& Sibling) Survival Guide  Episode 77
• How to Stay Calm with School Stress Episode 88
• Q & A with Kirk Martin Episode 104
• 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns & Arguments Episode 139

**Amazon affiliate link

As moms, we know we need rest. We usually equate rest with sleep or with a vacation, but this week’s guest shares a broader picture of our need for rest in multiple areas of our lives.

Saundra Dalton-Smith is a medical doctor, wife and mother to two boys. She had everything she’d dreamed of and worked hard to achieve, but wasn’t enjoying it.

I kept pushing and pushing myself till I got to the point where I literally burned out. I wasn’t happy with my job. I couldn’t see how my marriage would survive. I didn’t want my kids anymore. I was just at the end of myself. I didn’t want the life I created.

After reaching this breaking point, she went on a journey of restoration and healing where she learned to connect with God and with his plan for rest. Now she shares her research and methods with her patients and with all of us. If you’ve ever felt tired and at the end of yourself, this episode is for you.

We already have permission to rest, but the mommy guilt that sometimes comes tells us we don’t. That is really a lie. I look at it as the John 10:10. ‘The thief comes to steal, kill, and destroy.’ And he’s doing it to a lot of us through our inability to rest, our inability to trust God that when we lay things down that he is able to uphold them.

What we chat about:

• When Saundra reached her breaking point from stress and lack of true rest
• We have physical limits to what we can do as moms
• How Saundra researched rest and looked at scripture for clarity on how God rested
• The seven types of rest: physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, social, sensory and creative.
• The difference between a vacation and resting
• Paying attention to a place that feels painful in your body in the moment vs ignoring it
• Finding emotional rest through connection with friends, even through video chat if getting together is impossible
• The importance of authentic, open friendships with women who can relate to your life situation
• Ideas on how to stay engaged with your husband and reignite your marriage
• Putting limits on social media time so that your mind has down time
• Tips for getting mental rest and release ideas that make your mind race
• Sensory rest– what it is and ways to get it
• It is not selfish to prioritize resting. It keeps you from having a toxic reaction to those around you.

Links Mentioned:

• Marco Polo App–way to socially connect
• Sacred Rest by Dr. Saundra Dalton-Smith**
• Adventures in Odyssey Club–hundreds of episodes
• Rest Quiz Online

**Amazon affiliate link

In a world where devices, video games and screen-based entertainment dominate our time and space, we can choose to make our family culture different. It isn’t easy and it isn’t always fun, but there are huge benefits for us and our kids when we take time away from devices.

This week’s guest Andy Crouch is the author of “The Tech-Wise Family: Everyday Steps for Putting Technology in Its Proper Place”. He shares about our calling to be image bearers of God and how his family has seen a lot of growth by putting limitations on time with technology and building in Sabbath rest from devices.

Have moments as a family where you talk about what have been your best moments. What’s been the flourishing moments in our family? It’s very unlikely people will say, ‘Oh that time we made it to level 16 in whatever video game.’ Kids and parents will remember moments that had this kind of real authority and real vulnerability.

As we head into summer, I hope this episode encourages you to embrace the power of your kids being bored so they can tap into their God-given creativity, abilities and interests. Just hang in there through the first third of the time! Listen to see what I mean.

What we chat about:

• Image bearing as it relates to authority and vulnerability
• Video games and screened-based entertainment simulate authority and vulnerability
• Andy’s family’s Sabbath for screens and devices- one hour each day, one day each week and one week each year
• How to work toward unity on device- and technology-free time with your spouse
• Start small and do what’s stretching when it comes to taking time without devices
• Talk as a family about the best times you’ve experienced together and plan to have more of those moments
• The first third of the time is really hard, but in the second two-thirds you’ll see creativity and really good things for your family
• Changing your physical space to make the main thing we do together different
• Work and rest vs. Toil and leisure
• Not looking at your phone first thing in the morning till you’ve been outside
• Having a rhythm of disengagement with technology that reconnects us with real rest and with who we really are in God’s image.

Links Mentioned:

• “The Tech Wise Family: Putting Technology in its Proper Place” by Andy Crouch **
• “Strong and Weak” by Andy Crouch**

**Amazon affiliate link

Our children are growing up in a digital age with unparalleled access to technology. With these wonderful advances, comes a heavy responsibility we cannot ignore as parents. The access to pornography and sexual images and videos is everywhere and the age of children viewing them is going down.

But there is hope. My guest Ashley Januszewski is all about empowering parents to protect their children by talking candidly with them about God’s plan for their bodies and sex from an early age. We talk about everything from sexting and pornography to device control and screen time limits. She shares great resources for how to start these conversations with your children at any age.

It’s our job as parents, though this is the reality. Not to throw our hands in the air. It is our responsibility just like it is to buckle our children when we get in the car. So it’s our responsibility to virtually buckle up our children…. It’s everywhere. So it starts and ends with training the heart and equipping our kids. What to do when (not if) they are faced with this avalanche of filth. What do we do? We’ve got to talk about it.

What we chat about:

• The story behind Ashley’s pursuit of information on parenting children in the digital age
• Eleven is the average age for exposure to pornography in America.
• Fear and anxiety can be signs that a young child has been exposed to something sexually inappropriate.
• The coming of age experience today in 2018 looks radically different than what we experienced as kids.
• There aren’t the natural barriers that used to exist to pornography. Now it is anonymous, accessible and affordable to anyone.
• Our responsibility as parents to minimize exposure to pornographic material
• 40 percent of teenagers today in America say that sending sexual or naked photos or videos is part of everyday life for them.
• Make a plan for when and how you will introduce digital technology to your children
• A family mantra or mission statement can help you stay centered on the truth of God in a world that is dominated by opinions
• How screen time is affecting kids’ brains and hours spent on screens by tweens and teens
• Teaching young children about the dignity and value bodies which can lead to wider conversations
• Humanizing explicit images and an example of how to talk to your kids when you encounter them
• Avoiding shame or blame when it comes to sexual images to keep the lines of communication open
• Solutions for an Internet safer home- control the location of devices, control at the router and control on the devices
• Sexting and child pornography laws and the importance of reporting

Links Mentioned:

• Mary Flo Ridley “When to have the Talk”
• Grace-Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150] 
• Theology of the Body for Kids: 
• Pornography Jimmy and Josh Myers Ep 162
• Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids **
• Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds **
• https://www.pcmag.com/roundup/342731/the-best-parental-control-apps-for-your-phone
• https://protectyoungeyes.com/
• Screens and Teens by Kathy Koch**

**Amazon affiliate link

*Earbud warning…may want to listen without innocent ears hearing as well. 😉

This episode is about having great SEX with your husband. Whether that gets you excited or brings up fear in you, please stay and listen to my chat with Nancy Houston. She is a licensed professional counselor and sex therapist who shares candidly about how to overcome barriers to intimacy in marriage.

We talk about how to work through sexual pasts, sex after having kids, the impact of porn and sexual addiction on marriage. And how getting healing from your past experiences can draw you closer to your husband.

There’s a big learning curve to all of this. And you know too many times we treat sex as something that should be automatic and if we love each other this should just work. And that’s just not true. I mean statistically 60 percent of couples are having some sort of sexual problem right this minute. 

What we chat about:

• Why the Christian community needs to open up more about sex and healthy intimacy
• How sex drive changes for women after they’ve had kids
• The importance of foreplay for women especially
• God gave us sex as a way to bond us together with our husband
• Statistically, 60 percent of couples are having some sort of sexual problems at any given minute
• A woman’s largest sex organ is her brain
• The need for healing when you’ve experienced sexual abuse
• How Nancy processed and found healing from the sexual trauma she experienced
• Porn vs sexual addiction and the need for therapy
• God made us for intimacy
• Letting go of the negative aspects you may have built up around the idea of sex
• Raising our kids to have a healthy view of sexuality
• 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 and how it references sex in marriage
• Having your hormones checked, exercise and eating healthy can help your body be prepared for sex
• Having healthy conversations about sex with your husband (not during sex!)
• Sex isn’t meant to be a performance, it’s meant to be a way for you and your husband to connect
• Invite God into the sexual part of your marriage

Links Mentioned:

• The Power of Sex in Marriage :: Francie Winslow, Ep 61 
• The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection :: Francie Winslow, Ep 138 
• Love & Sex A Christian Guide to Healthy Intimacy **
• https://www.affairrecovery.com/
• Intended for Pleasure: Sex Technique and Sexual Fulfillment in Christian Marriage **
• Birds & Bees with Mary Flo Ridley, “When to Have the Talk” 
• Birds & Bees–Continuing the Conversation, Ep 153 

• Celebration of Sex, by Doug Rosenau**
• Sex Facts for the Family, by Clifford and Joyce Penner**
• The Gift of Sex, by Clifford and Joyce Penner**
• Coping with Erectile Dysfunction, by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy**
• Coping with Premature Ejaculation, by Michael Metz and Barry McCarthy**
• Rekindling Desire, Barry and Emily McCarthy**
• The Conquer Series for men struggling with sexual issues, a video series which can be purchased at Pure Desire Ministries
• Pure Desire, by Dr. Ted Roberts**

**Amazon affiliate link

There is a lot of pressure placed on moms to nurture and care for our families. Add the responsibilities of a full-time job on top of that and it easy to see why being a mom is called the hardest job in the world.

My friends Causha Jolly and Stacey McCabe share about life as working moms and the difficult balance they maintain everyday. I love how they share their hearts about being obedient to God’s assignment for them to work outside the home even in the difficult season of mothering little ones.

As a community of God-centered moms, we’re called to cheer on our sisters. It’s my hope that this episode will encourage you to bless and support other moms as they obey God.

Remember who you are in Christ, remember that you are called, remember that you are a daughter of the most high and never doubt that. 

(STAY TUNED. . .later this week I’ll release a blog post with more practical ideas on work/life balance from Causha)

What we chat about:

• Causha and Stacy’s motherhood stories and why they chose to work outside the home
• Why it’s harder for moms to travel and not worry about your kids vs. husbands traveling
• How to respond when we fear we aren’t enough and struggle under the weight of expectations placed on moms
• The difficulty of finding care for your kids while you work
• The false internal judgement of good mom to bad mom scale
• Feeling a divine assignment from God to be in a certain job
• How it’s necessary to say, “No” to a lot when you have limited family time
• The need to show grace for yourself so that you can have grace with your kids
• Moms can’t be there every moment of every day, but Jesus will always be there
• Teaching our kids to turn to Jesus to meet every one of their needs
• Dealing with moments of insecurity as a working mom
• When we judge a mom for her choices then we miss out on the blessing of supporting her in her obedience

Links Mentioned:

• Kat Armstrong –Motherhood, Career and Identity [episode 171] 
• Courtney Smallbone–The Day Fear Died 
• Pine Cove Family Camp
• Freakonomics by Steven Levitt**
• Whisper by Mark Batterson**
• Experiencing God by Blackaby**
• Discerning the Voice of God by Priscilla Shirer**

In her new book, New York Times bestselling author Lisa Bevere tackles the question, “What is truth?”. It is a defining question in our current age which is ruled by a shifting sea of opinions and a constantly changing culture. But, truth is person, Jesus. And, he is a Rock for his people.

When I began to look at this, I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, they were looking for Christ’. The magnet that would draw, but not be drawn, the one who is light, this whole dynamic of being invincible, that’s what adamant means… invincible… it’s also immovable, constant, that rock who follows us in the wilderness… That word in Hebrew means, ‘an unassailable refuge’. That made me realize that Christ is our unassailable refuge.

Listen as Lisa shares wisdom and encouragement for moms, daughters and followers of Christ everywhere.

What we chat about:

• Lisa’s background and testimony of meeting Jesus and her husband
• Parenting, discipline and setting your children up to win
• The power of positive affirmation in strong-willed children
• Explaining the why behind the rules and connecting it to God’s word
• Having grace for the season you are in as a mom
• Prayers for your kids to go beyond where you are in your walk with Christ
• Doing motherhood well is not the same as doing it perfectly
• The meaning of adamant and the background on Lisa’s new book
• Christ is our unassailable refuge, our rock, our adamant
• We can’t love what God loves if we don’t hate what God hates
• The danger of pride and how it separates us from God’s grace
• Jesus is our pattern for how to love
• You will never regret kindness and loving words
• Bring in the word of God when you have disagreements

Links Mentioned:

• Out Of Control And Loving It: Giving God Complete Control of Your Life**
• Lizzy the Lioness**
• Messenger International
• Adamant : Finding Truth in a Universe of Opinions**

**Amazon affiliate link

Losing a baby to miscarriage or later in pregnancy is heartbreaking, especially when you are struggling with infertility. Imagine experiencing that type of loss multiple times. My guest and friend, Shawna Beucler shares the story behind her two healthy sons and the many babies she can’t wait to see again in heaven.

If you’re walking through the journey of infertility or have a friend who is, Shawna shares so beautifully why you shouldn’t walk alone in these places of pain and the power of friends lifting you up in prayer every day.

We would not have gone through and survived that time in our life had we not had people praying for us around the clock. Because sometimes the anger and the heartbreak when your heart meets tragedy… there is no prayer you can form. I needed a break from the Lord and I had other people holding that connection for me.

What we chat about:

• Struggling with infertility, medical interventions and trying to get pregnant
• IUI, IVF and miscarriages
• Feeling the door shutting on future pregnancies
• The Lord wants us to desire to love and know him
• Losing a final baby and the traumatic process of going through delivery
• People praying for you made the difference
• Why Shawna wants to share her story
• The healing that can come from talking about the pain in your life
• Keeping your marriage together in times of deep grief
• 1 Timothy 1:7 – For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.
• Philippians 4:13 – I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
• Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.
• Luke 1:37 – For nothing will be impossible with God.
• How to help a friend who is walking through infertility

Links Mentioned:

• What to Say, How to Help, When to Show Up (Lunchbox Babies)
• Mourning & Dancing by She Reads Truth

Powerhouse Christine Caine shares how she let go of fear and found faith for when the unexpected happened. Lots of truth and encouragement here for anyone who has encountered fear in parenting, a medical diagnosis and rejection in friendships… so all of us!

Jesus never said we’re not going to have trials. He said when trials come, not if, but when. I think sometimes as believers we forget that, but we have a grace within it. I think part of our testimony to a lost and broken world is the way we go through it.

What we chat about:

• Christine Caine’s new book, Unexpected
• Emboldening our faith and letting go of fear in motherhood
• Trusting that God will fill in the gaps of what we’re able to do as parents
• Basic spiritual practices can be some of the most powerful things in our lives
• Facing painful actualites in a fallen world
• Christine’s reaction to her cancer diagnosis
• Jesus is the name above all other names, including cancer
• Having a “faith cocoon” of friends to encourage you in the face of fear
• Enduring suffering as Christians
• Giving in to the pain and fear and suffering is not the answer
• We serve a God who is bigger!
• Godly motherhood in this generation is harder than it’s ever been
• Leaning in with a spirit of faith and not pulling back with a spirit of fear
• We’re called to train our children up and not restrain their giftings
• Dealing with rejection in friendship and moving forward

Links Mentioned:

• A21 Ministry
• Paul the Apostle Movie
• Unexpected: Leave Behind Fear, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure**
• Focused15 “Everyday Faith” by Katie Orr**

**Amazon affiliate link

The Bible tells of healings, miracles and the power of the Holy Spirit, but God’s power didn’t stop after the New Testament. Today’s guest Courtney Smallbone shares her personal story of God’s power in the hardest circumstances imaginable.

Supernatural healing is for today. Courtney’s story of finding freedom from anxiety and miraculous healing for her infant son is a powerful testimony of God’s faithfulness.

As moms we have a lot of fear and anxiety. We carry a lot. We have these little people that we’re in charge of and discipling. It gets exhausting and hard. I felt like the Lord just filled me with himself. He has given me not the spirit of fear, but love and power and a sound mind. I needed a sound mind when I was dealing with anxiety. He has given us power through his Holy Spirit and we can walk that out as moms in everyday life.

What we chat about:

• Courtney’s testimony of seeing God move in her life and health
• How Courtney met her husband Luke Smallbone of For King and Country
• The impact of Luke’s autoimmune disease on Courtney and her family
• Dealing with anxiety and prescription medicine dependence
• Getting freedom from the shame and finding healing holistically
• The importance of community in the healing process
• Why the church needs to embrace a holistic approach to healing and helping people be open about sharing their struggles
• Courtney’s physical issues with her most recent pregnancy
• The miracle of her son’s healing
• Teaching our kids that prayer is powerful and effective and that God is real
• Worshipping with your children invites them into a lifestyle of worship
• Hearing God for others and the gift of the praying in the spirit

Links Mentioned:

• “All who call on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13
• Lemierre’s Disease
• for KING & COUNTRY
• Compassion International  
• Colitis 
• Craniosynotosis 
• “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”              2 Timothy 1:7
• Bethel worship
• “Without You”  (feat. Courtney)

Does it seem possible to draw our kids away from entitlement and toward the bigger “Yes” of God’s blessing for them and other people in their lives? Well, get excited because Jim and Lynne Jackson of Connected Families are back with parenting wisdom to address entitlement in our kids AND in ourselves.

We as parents feel entitled to grateful, hard working kids, and when we don’t get them an we have ungrateful, resistant-to-chores kids we get pretty upset. That shows that we feel entitled to how things go my way in the home. Instead of saying, ‘Oh! Wow we have some challenges here that I can partner with Jesus and really dive into.’

What we chat about:

• Jim and Lynne Jackson introduce Connected Families and their parenting framework
• The root of entitled behavior in our kids and the beliefs that back it up
• Entitlement is the belief that I deserve something because I’m more important than someone else
• Entitlement is about our sin nature and we’re all born into that
• As believers we need to call out entitlement in our lives and choose to put God first
• We as parents feel entitled to grateful, hard-working kids
• The attitude we bring into parenting and our beliefs are reflected onto our kids
• Helping our kids learn to work hard and celebrate accomplishments give them a dopamine burst in their brains that helps “rewire” them to want to work hard again
• Letting go of the places we are coddling our kids by not expecting them to serve and do hard things
• The “Bigger Yes” of God’s blessing for your kids and other people
• Take it slow and consider your kid’s perspective as you make changes toward growing our kids out of entitlement
• Determining the rights, privileges and responsibilities of your family
• When our kids see the beliefs we fight for and see the joy we experience as we follow God and it inclines them to want that too

Links Mentioned:

• Help Your Child Feel Safe and Loved :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep80]
• How to Connect, Coach and Correct Your Child :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 81]
• Connecting With Your Kids in Any Circumstance Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 98]
• Resolving Sibling Conflict :: Jim and Lynne Jackson [Ep 126]

Discipline. It’s such an important part of parenting and so hard. But, we don’t have to be alone on the journey. Join me as I sit down with two moms of littles from my church, Meredith and Hailey. We chat about the common struggles and questions that come up in disciplining young kids.

Our kids) have the opportunity to be saved by grace through faith just like we were, not by works and not by good parenting. But, it’s the consistency of the love and the safety. And when you have that and they do confess faith then you have the Holy Spirit on your side to do the convicting.

What we chat about:

• Discipline can be a struggle, but we’re not alone in this journey
• Ask yourself, “Will it matter in 10 years?”
• Focusing on making our children feel safe
• The child that’s annoying you the most, you should hug the most even though it’s the opposite of your instinct
• A lot of the anger that comes up in us as moms comes from unresolved issues in us, not just our kids’ behavior
• Mommy Time, getting intentional focused time with each child
• During the 0-5 ages, kids change so much it’s difficult to keep up with the huge developmental changes they are undergoing
• Leaning into the Holy Spirit when we need to make a decision in parenting to avoid letting fear and insecurity win
• It’s hard to know what the realistic expectations are for obedience at different ages
• Don’t sabotage the good in pursuit of the great
• Disciplining in public requires different tools, take steps to set your kids up to win
• Your kids will be saved by grace through faith and not through perfect parenting
• God’s kindness leads us to repentance, so we need to discipline with kindness as well
• Grace for parenting changes when you add a new baby to your family

More Episodes on Discipline:

• Grace-Based Discipline :: Karis Kimmel Murray [Ep 150]
• Gospel Parenting :: Paul David Tripp [Ep 176]
• Connected Families– ConnectedFamilies.org –Check out Episodes 80, 81, 98, 126)
• Anchoring Our Kids’ Lovability in Christ with Jeannie Cunnion [Ep91]
• How to {Really} Parent with Grace with Jeannie Cunnion [Ep 55]
• Loving Your “Different” Child with Sally and Nathan Clarkson [Ep 149]
• 10 Ways to Stop Meltdowns and Arguments with Kirk Martin [Ep 139]
• Solo Parenting/Perfectionist Kids/Tone of Voice with Kirk Martin [Ep 104]
• Summer (and Sibling) Survival Guide with Kirk Martin [Ep 77]
• Calmly Parenting the Strong-Willed Child with Kirk Martin[Ep 69]
• How to Stop Yelling, Lecturing and Power Struggles with Kirk Martin [Ep 62]

Links Mentioned:

• Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson**
• Celebrate Recovery
• Recovery for Life book– “Steps into God’s Grace” by Lynn Hoffmann**
• Mommy Time Idea
• Amy McCready
• Making Easter Personal for Preschoolers 
•  

**Amazon Affiliate link. At no extra cost to you a portion of your purchase will go back to support the God Centered Mom Podcast.

Staying up-to-date on social media can so easily turn into an hour of lost time scrolling on our phones that leaves us discontent and disconnected with the ones we love the most. It’s a struggle most of us deal with in this digital age we’re in, and I’ve brought in my friend Eryn Hall to give us practical tips and encouragement on how to do social media well.

My highlight reel is going to look different than someone else’s highlight reel and that’s how it should be. We need to accept that and rest in the Lord. The grace and goodness I have and my acceptance, my identity is found in him and not in someone else’s social media.

If limiting your own screen time is something you struggle with, check out the apps in the show notes below to start monitoring your time. Ask a friend or GCM podcast club member to check in with you for accountability. Let’s live our lives for God and for our families first, not just for the social media posts.

What we chat about:

• How to do social media from a Godly worldview
• Recognizing how social media makes us feel and doing a heart check
• Learning to rest in God’s approval and not in the approval of social media
• Stepping away and asking God, “Is this for me?” before responding to a place of potential jealousy
• Paying attention to whether we are finding our identity in God or in social media
• Boundaries we’ve put in place on social media
• Not looking at social media first thing in the morning and starting our day off in prayer so we are secure in who God says we are
• Healthy switches for spending your time on something other than social media
• Staying present with your kids with boundaries on your device usage
• Not immediately posting a picture of an event or activity and checking your “why” behind the photos and posts
• Be sure of who you are and whose you are before you post
• A cool story about how someone came to Jesus after reading God’s word on social media
• Being digital evangelists and staying faithful to the message of who God is

Links Mentioned:

• Moment App for iPhone
• Quality Time App for Android
• Declare Conference
• Liz Griffin Instagram
• Joy is on the Other Side of the Screen (post Eryn mentioned she wrote)
•  

Life is full of decisions. We do our best to choose wisely and follow God’s lead. Sometimes God leads us in a different direction. It doesn’t always make “sense” in the moment.  And it definitely isn’t easy to share those changes with others.

It’s been over a year since we’ve given you a glimpse behind the scenes. In that time A LOT has happened in our world: new job, school shifts, adopting & “re-homing” a puppy. So I’m bringing my hubby Bruce back on the show to share one concept he’s used at work for years and he has helped me process the last year of change.

In this episode Bruce and I let you in on the thought process behind our life choices. Hoping this conversation will allow you grace to change your mind without the fear of what others think.

I reserve the right to change my mind and not have to explain it to you, but every person who hears about it wants to know the whole story. What I’ve found is people want to know the should. Every time I talk to a mom, they are feeling this pressure to get it all right, so then when they hear a story that doesn’t work out or where you changed your mind they are trying to analyze the rightness of it.

What we chat about:

• What’s happened in the MacFadyen family in the past year
• Bruce’s current business, Door Real Estate Brokerage
• The mantra, “I always reserve the right to change my mind”
• Making the decision to send one of our sons back to school after a semester of homeschooling
• What happened with our dog
• Giving yourself freedom to change your mind
• Being gracious to others who change their minds
• Why we need to give our kids and ourselves permission to make mistakes
• Working to create an environment at home where it’s okay to change your mind and make mistakes
• In all of the decisions in life it’s about balance and listening to God’s voice

Links Mentioned:

• Bruce and experience doing medical missions with his parents (Ep 5)
• When Your Husband Has a Demanding Job (Ep 38)
• Goals, Roles & Superpowers (Ep 112)
• This is Us (Ep 145) 

It’s not all sunshine and roses in marriage, even when both you and your husband follow Jesus. My guests today share about one of the most painful possibilities in a marriage —infidelity.

My friend Jae tells her story of learning her husband had an affair and the work God did in both of their lives to restore their marriage. Licensed professional counselor Cheryl Scruggs shares about her infidelity, divorce, and eventual re-marriage, along with a lot of practical advice and scriptures she learned in the seven years she was separated from her husband.

The main takeaway? HOPE. There is hope for your marriage. It’s not easy, because we’re all sinners, but God can heal and restore us when we surrender it all to him.

For all of us in marriage, I think it’s important that we are paying attention. In John 10:10 it says that the thief comes kill, steal and destroy, but I have come to give you life and life abundantly. God wants us to have a great marriage, not easy, not perfect. But it’s really understanding we’re both sinners and how are we going to walk this walk together in this relationship as a sinner married to a sinner. 

**If you are in a relationship where you or your children have been physically abused, please contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or http://www.thehotline.org.

What we chat about:

• Cheryl Scruggs and Jae share their marriage stories.
• Discovering God’s plans for marriage.
• Hope for restoration in marriage even after an affair.
• How do you know if God is asking you to stay in a marriage?
• Trusting God with your spouse and being open to what he wants to teach you and show you.
• Understanding our role as a wife God has called you to be.
• Recognizing the situations where it’s necessary to leave a marriage (physical safety, lifestyle of infidelity).
• It takes time for healing in marriage.
• Physical intimacy throughout marriage conflicts.
• Balancing advice from friends and family with what God wants for your marriage.
• Biblical roles in marriage.

Scriptures Mentioned:

• • Eph. 3:20 – Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
  • Matthew 19:26 – Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
  • Deuteronomy 8:1-10 – Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land the Lord promised on oath to your ancestors. Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands… For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land. [read full passage]
  • John 10:10 – The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Links Mentioned:

• Hope Matters Marriage Ministry
• Thriving Beyond Belief Podcast
• Cheryl and Jeff’s Book, “I Do Again: How We Found a Second Chance at Our Marriage–and You Can Too”**
• Song of Solomon: God’s Best for Love, Marriage, Sex and Romance DVD** 
• The Power of a Praying® Wife**
• The Ripple Effect of Healthy Sexual Connection Francie Winslow Ep 138
• Sacred Marriage: What If God Designed Marriage to Make Us Holy More Than to Make Us Happy?**
• How to Save Your Marriage Alone**

We know that God’s word is living and active. Today’s guest Jodie Berndt takes us through using Bible verses as prayers that can powerfully influence your children’s lives.

There is so much encouragement in this episode for standing on the truth of God’s word and relying on scripture to help shape your children, teens and adult children. Of course, we as moms can’t help but be changed when we hide his word in our hearts and pray them over our family.

We know that he is a loving God who knows our needs and our kids’ needs better than we know them. So when we lift our children to him and surrender them, he’s going to do for them what he knows they need. It might not be necessarily in the timing or the ways that he would’ve ordained, but in Isaiah 55 it says that his ways are higher and better than our ways. When we come to believe that, it can really bring peace to our lives.

What we chat about:

• Using God’s word for prayers is powerful.
• There isn’t a need we’ll face in parenting that God hasn’t provided for in his word.
• Specific scriptures to pray for your child’s salvation
• Asking God what we can nurture and pray for in each child’s unique giftings
• God will accomplish the changes in your child’s character. Our job is to partner with him.
• Praying against fear and for protection
• Asking God to shape your children into good friends
• Processing popular media with your kids and discussing how it aligns or doesn’t align with a Godly world view
• The power of having others pray for your kids in community
• When prayers aren’t answered the way we want, God is still writing their stories.
• Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources

Scriptures Mentioned:

• Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
• John 15:7 – If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
• Psalm 121:7-8 – The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
• Acts 26:18 –  Open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.
• 2 Corinthians 5:17 –  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
• Colossians 3:12 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
• Philippians 2:13 – for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
• Psalm 91:11 – For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
• Proverbs 17:17 – Shape my child into a friend who loves at all times
• Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
• Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

Links Mentioned:

• Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources
• Praying the Scriptures for Your Children **
• Praying the Scriptures for Your Teenagers**
• Praying the Scriptures for Your Adult Children**

After 15 years of marriage, Jenn Jett experienced the pain of divorce. But in that place of brokenness, she felt peace that God would redeem and heal her as she said, “Yes” to him. 

Listen as she shares her story about how the Lord pursued her, fought for her and surprised her more than she expected with his redeeming love.

The Lord called me to himself and said, ‘Your hope does not need to be in the success of your marriage, it needs to be in me.’ We are so motivated by measures of success and we can look at our circumstances and either feel great or responsible and shameful.

What we chat about:

• Jenn’s story of brokeness and pain in marriage and divorce
• Redefining redemption from God’s perspective
• Marriage and motherhood can become idols
• Saying Yes to the things of God can take us on an adventure
• The importance of community and friends as we process lies we’re believing
• The power of prayer and learning not to hold back in prayer
• Healing and restoration is possible even after what feels like a catastrophe
• The Lord pursues and fights for us through multiple ways
• Scripture: Isaiah 61 & 62
• Finding our identity in Christ is so key before we have a hard life situation

“31 Days for Prayer for the Dreamer and Doer“** 

Links Mentioned:

• “Power of the Praying Wife”**
• Exodus 14:14
• Lost Valley Ranch
• Israel Collective
• Val Marie Paper –Prayer Journal
• Enneagram — The Road Back to You**
• Kat Armstrong — Ep 171 Motherhood, Career & Identity 
• Camp Well Summit Instagram
• Camp Well Summit Spring 2018
• Red Sea Rules by Robert Morgan**
• Red Sea Road with Ellie Holcomb

Get ready for a huge pep talk from one of today’s biggest business personalities, Christy Wright. She shares some of her story and a whole lot of encouragement for women whether you own a business or not.

If you struggle with guilt for taking time for yourself or prioritizing your time and saying no, Christy gives wisdom and practical advice to help you reframe your situation and move forward with confidence and kindness.

What we chat about:

• Christy’s story of growing up with a single working mom who owned a business.
• Letting go of mom guilt and looking at time away from our kids as healthy and necessary.
• One of the most powerful things you can show your kids is how you take care of yourself.
• Never say anything about yourself that you don’t want your kids to say about themselves.
• Getting on the same page with your spouse about taking time away.
• Decision making paradigm shift and protecting your time.
• How to say “no” with confidence and kindness.
• Prioritizing your time around your goals, family and what you enjoy.
• An honest ‘no’ is better than a dishonest ‘yes’.
• The imposter syndrome and how it impacts women and high achievers.
• Take the first step even when you are fearful and it will start momentum to do even bigger things.
• Making baby steps to move out of a “stuck” place.

Questions to ask to help identify your strengths: 

1. What do you enjoy?
2. What is effortless for you?
3. Where do you excel in relation to others?
4. What do others encourage in you?
5. What gives you energy?

“Business Boutique”**:

Links Mentioned:

• Propel Conference
• Christy Wright’s Business Boutique podcast
• Darkest Hour–Winston Churchill Movie
• One Day Business Boutique Events

When she got married, Jamie Ivey became a pastor’s wife. Stepping into this role made her feel there was no one who she could be fully open with about her past. But, keeping these secrets kept her in shame and insecurity.

In her new book, If You Only Knew**, she shares how opening up about her past revealed the beauty of God’s grace in her life and about the freedom it has brought her and others.

(If you want to hear my “If You Only Knew” story about anxiety and anger, check it out over on Jamie’s “The Happy Hour” podcast.)

What we chat about:

• Jamie Ivey’s story reconciling her past with her Christian walk.
• How sharing your story can show the beauty of God’s grace and redemption.
• Examining our underlying motivation for decisions.
• We are not in control of our kids’ salvation and that is a good thing!
• How to find a friend who is safe to share your full story with and how to be that type of friend.
• We can have compassion for the broken when we realize that it’s only by the grace of God we haven’t made bigger mistakes.
• Bringing discipline with your kids back around to the Gospel because that’s where the freedom lies.
• The importance of community and allowing others to speak truth into our lives when we fall into places of shame and guilt.
• God sees the righteousness of Jesus and not our shame when he looks at us.
• When to tell our kids about our stories and how important it is to talk about sex and places of sin in our homes first.

“If You Only Knew” book **:

• Mary Flo Ridley & Megan Michelson — Episode 153– Continuing the Conversation (Birds & Bees)
• The Birds & Bees, So Help Me Please — Mary Flo Ridley
• Celebrate Recovery
• Steps into God’s Grace by Lynn Hoffman**
• Recovery for Life –Lynn Hoffman Episode 129

So much of parenting is really about the work God is doing in our own hearts. Jeannie Cunnion shares her story of being set free from the shame of her past and learning to let go of performance-based parenting.

If you feel there IS something that separates you from the love of God, this is the episode for you. Jeannie shares encouraging truth and practical applications for giving ourselves and our kids grace.

What we chat about:

• Why we need to be set free from shame of our pasts to live in the freedom of Christ.
• Jeannie’s story of a painful, short-lived marriage and the shame she carried from it.
• What performance-based parenting looks like.
• Shame-driven messages vs. grace-driven messages.
• We all have things that we believe will separate us from God, but he says nothing will separate us.
• Research about children who grow up in Christian homes.
• The importance of talking to our children about our failings and God’s grace.
• Creating a home of confession instead of a home of perfection.
• Acknowledge that we’re all going to make mistakes and that’s ok.
• Jeannie’s Three R’s: Remember, Rely and Recognize

Links Mentioned:

• Courtney DeFeo
• Jacque Watkins  
• Mudstory with Jeannie Cunnion–shattering shame and perfectionism
• Mom Set Free book** and Mom Set Free Bible Study** by Jeannie Cunnion
• How to {really} parent with grace Episode 55
• Anchoring Our Kids’ Lovability in Christ Episode 91

As an author, event planner, teacher, wife, mom of 10 and grandmother to 2, September McCarthy has plenty to fill her days. She relates to the universal exhaustion on our mom souls–the beating ourselves up and the fighting for joy. 

September has so much wisdom to share from what God has taught her in seasons of busyness and motherhood in different stages.

Listen as we go through questions from GCM listeners on motherhood topics including finding joy in the hard times, the value of rest and bringing your children alongside you in your work as a mom.

As moms we are going to be tired. Might as well be tired over the things that bring you joy. And choose those things.

What we chat about:

• September’s motherhood story including miscarriages & infant loss. 
• Answers to questions from moms like you.
• Focusing less on feeling the joy in your days and more on gratitude.
• When you are in the busy seasons of life, be cautious what you take on. Ask yourself, do I need to do this?
• Not letting our “fear of missing out” for children direct our decisions. 
• The importance of guarding our thoughts and taking negative thoughts captive.
• “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2
• There is value and strength in rest and doing what God wants for your body.
• Find one to two moms who can help you when you need it.
• Let go of feeling like you need to everything well and enjoy it.
• Bringing your kids into you work as a mom and encouraging them to work as a team.
• Tips on teaching character to kids who want your attention all the time.

Links Mentioned:

• Hope for the Struggling Mom September McCarthy on Episode 15   
• Why Motherhood Matters book **
• Start a GCM Podcast Club
• Parenting Scripts by Wendy Speake & Amber Lia**
• What Triggers Your Angry Reaction Episode with Amber Lia

If you’ve ever ended the day feeling like a failure and critiquing every misstep, then this episode on practicing self-compassion is for you.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, Kim Fredrickson has counseled and taught others about self-compassion for years. When she received an unexpected terminal diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis, a rare side-effect of the treatment she had received for breast cancer, she wrote a book to leave for her children on giving that same compassion to the grandchildren she may never meet.

When people feel ashamed, they blame other people because they feel like if I really look at my shame then I’m going to collapse inside. That’s why self-compassion is desperately important because kids feel shame a lot. They fail at everything at the start.

What we chat about:

• Kim’s story of receiving a devastating diagnosis after completing treatment for breast cancer
• How she’s chosen to spend the years she has left with her family
• The new book she wrote for when her children have kids called “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children”
• How it’s a process to develop a compassionate inner voice
• Applying grace and truth to every situation in our lives
• Variety of temperaments–some that are harder on themselves than others.
• The difference between self-compassion and self-pity
• Encouraging your children to practice self-compassion and reinforcing it by showing ourselves that same
• Giving our kids the language to identify their failings and separate them from their self- worth
• Moms have a really hard job. It’s ok to acknowledge that.
• The importance of taking care of ourselves as moms
• How to talk to your kids after you’ve been hard on yourself and reframing it with self compassion

Links Mentioned:

• Kristi Clover — Simply Joyful Podcast
• Give Your Kids a Break : Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children **
• Give Yourself a Break ** 
• Compassionate Self-Statements and Self-Soothing Exercises (CD and download)
• Kind and Compassionate Words to Soothe Your Soul  (Download)