Kat Armstrong, the guest from one of my most popular episodes is back on the podcast to share the message of her new book, No More Holding Back. The first question we talk about is, “Can a woman learn too much about Jesus?” A light topic, right?

“The greatest commandment says we have to love God with our heart, soul, mind and strength — all of it. And it's the priority. It's the priority over anyone's role in our home. We have to be all-in for Jesus. We can't let our fears, our insecurities, our roles, our titles, or anything to do with our spouses impede our progress to learn about Jesus.”

Kat shares powerfully about our role as an image bearer of God, the importance of elevating women’s voices in our communities of faith and living completely into the assignments God gives us.

We also talk about giving what we have to offer even if feels imperfect or broken in the same way that the widow in Mark 12 gave out of her need.

“If you have a broken heart, it counts. I have a broken heart right now about my dad. I still want to love God with it all and I don't have to have it all together or healed yet to apply it to the Great Commission. And if you have a weary soul and you're questioning your faith, you can give that to God and he counts it as worthy. If you have a confused mind. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, decision making, and things don't make sense in your world, you can give that to God.”

After my recent trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, I’m so excited to introduce you to Tess Clarke. We process some of what we learned on the trip to visit refugees from Central and South America and hear about the work Tess and her husband are doing with their non-profit, Seek the Peace.

Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives. It doesn’t mean that the circumstances are changed, but He takes away our aloneness, our guilt, our shame and our fear by being present with us in those hard circumstances.

“The numbers are staggering and everyone knows that this is an overwhelming issue, which is why I think we can't become jaded and paralyzed, but we have to keep looking at it from a human point of view. When we were in Oaxaca, a lot of it was really about learning why people were fleeing and what their lives looked like and what they were hoping for when they came to the United States. Every person I had an opportunity to talk to said, I want to be safe.”

No matter where you may fall politically on the issues of immigration and the current refugee crisis, I think Tess’ perspective on entering into the broken places and loving the marginalized and lonely around us can bring us together as believers. It has made a big difference in my own parenting when I invite my kids into loving others.

“Something my kids and I talk a lot about is the line in the Lord's prayer, ‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’ And we asked Jesus, show us where heaven is not. Show us where heaven is lacking. Lead us there because we want to join you in that space and we want to do what we can to bring heaven there.”

• Tess, her family, their non-profit Seek the Peace and her role at We Welcome Refugees
• The work Tess and her organization have done at the border.
• Seeking to understand the plight of refugees and the work and role of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)
• Family separation of refugees at the border and the humanitarian crises happening in Central and South America that are causing an increase in the number of refugees
• Stories from refugee centers at the border of South Texas
• Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives.
• The trip Heather and Tess made to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit refugees there
• A poem by Warsan Shire about why people leave their homes as refugees
• The legal ways to enter America are being shut down by the current administration
• Our experience visiting the unaccompanied minors shelter
• Femicide, being killed because you are a woman, is a big cause of death in Mexico
• Partnering with Jesus to love the marginalized and bring Heaven to Earth
• The call of God to love the oppressed and care for the broken in Isaiah 58

Just in time for Father’s Day we have a great conversation with Joel Fitzpatrick, a pastor and author, who encourages dads (and moms) to have gospel-focused conversations with their sons.

“There’s power in having conversations with your kids that opens up your relationship. It’s a freedom that gives your kids a safe place to talk to someone. But then it also gives you the ability to speak God's truth into their lives.”

We talk about the barriers that keep us from going deep with our kids and how to fight back against the fear and complacency that can become commonplace. Joel also shares how Jesus is the ultimate picture of biblical masculinity and how to be an emotionally safe parent for your son or daughter.

“We need to be very careful with our emotions when our kids come and they confess their sins to us. When your son comes to you and he's been angry, you need to be careful not to respond in anger, but to respond with love and with kindness and with using your strength to provide a place of safety.”

This is an episode that would be perfect to share with your spouse and the dads in your life. Joel shares a lot of truth for both moms and dads about how we can stay actively engaged with our kids and keep the gospel message at the forefront.

For more on this topic, Joel has a new book out called Between Us Guys. Also, my recent podcast with Vicki Courtney [Ep 239] has some more great information on having deep conversations.

As Joel shares, it comes down to setting aside intentional time to go deep with our kids. What step can you make this summer to have a gospel-centered conversation with your son or daughter?

What we chat about:

• Joel’s background as a construction worker and as a minister
• What are gospel conversations and how do we have them with our kids
• How to fight against fear and complacency to continually engage with our kids
• Biblical masculinity vs worldly masculinity
• Working with a son who is displaying aggression and violence
• Keeping our emotions in check when we’re having tough discipline conversations
• Look at your kids’ lives as a timeline and not a snapshot
• Learning to process emotions in a healthy way with our kids
• Being aware of your sons’ emotions and actively engaged with how he is processing them
• Teaching sons how to think about and interact with women in light of the gospel

As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids. To keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy. A key part of our overall well being is setting healthy boundaries.

But boundaries are hard. They require uncomfortable, direct conversations. We may need to put a limit on really good things or draw a line in the sand with our in-laws or parents.

My guest, Dr. John Townsend literally wrote the book on boundaries and he shares some deep wisdom on how to set healthy boundaries while honoring our family members and others.

You've got to take care of your energy, your heart and your emotions. You've got to take care of yourself and your health. If you don't guard that heart, then the wellsprings of life won't come out from it. Boundaries are basically about how to set healthy, loving limits in our life. So we have something to offer to our children.

Townsend answers your tough questions about set limits with in-laws, making healthy boundaries for the holidays and even models having a tough conversation with a parent about a boundary.

This is an episode packed with great information and Townsend has several books and resources available if you want to go deeper. Let’s make setting healthy boundaries a priority and guard our hearts and our time to bring life to our family!

What we chat about:

• “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
• Setting boundaries is guarding our wellspring of life so we can love our kids
• His book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life
• Is setting boundaries biblical? YES!
• The difference between hurting and harming someone when it comes to setting boundaries
• Honoring vs obeying your parents as an adult
• What it looks like to have a boundary setting conversation
• Conveying love in hard conversations and not getting hijacked with emotions or blame
• Giving three chances when you set new boundaries and how to have consequences when they aren’t respected
• Turning to spiritual family when biological family isn’t what your kids need
• Keeping the lines of communication open with grandparents and communicating boundaries in love
• Looking for mild, moderate and severe reactions to suggestions and boundary setting
• Suggestions for setting healthy boundaries for the holidays
• The idea of people fuel and relational nutrients that help us fuel up