Don't Mom Alone Podcast (motherhood)

Sippy cup refill requests. Another load of laundry to fold. A sibling dispute.

Ever feel like you are reacting to life? Life is coming at you and you respond.

There have been many times in my mothering where instead of joy & hope I feel beat down and unfulfilled.

One woman who has whispered beauty and calm into those dark places, is today’s podcast guest, Sally Clarkson.

She told me motherhood can be more than just doing the dishes. It is an important job, guiding souls through discipleship and love. She taught me that my hard-to-handle boy may need me to sympathize more than instruct. She agreed boys may be a little wild. . .but showed me they can be civil & sip tea.

When I was coming out of a time of “not feeling like myself” Sally showed me how to own my life. To drop the negative thoughts which held me back. To consider what I wanted my days to look like and then make them happen.

He is the living, vibrant not-to-be-contained God. The more I would ponder God and engage with him in my own heart, the more my kids were drawing from me all the excellencies and realities of God. When we are passionate and filled with the Holy Spirit, our children will be exposed to the living God.

Sally has written her encouragement into a book called, “Own Your Life” (2015).

In this podcast episode, which originally aired January 6, 2015, I asked Sally all-the-things I’ve been pondering, from how to help your children really “know” God to simple advice on transforming a hard mom day.

What we talk about:

  • Why I struggle to read Sally’s books at the end of hard days.
  • Every mom has her own mom personality.
  • In spite of our mom errors, children can learn our hearts
  • How do we help our children “Yadah” God…to know Him personally
  • Living a life of color & taste & joy so our children see & know the goodness of the Lord.
  • How we are motivated…not by guilt or checklists but by love & encouragement.
  • Balancing grace & truth in parenting–practicing patience & love takes time.
  • Definition of the phrase “own your life”-
  • Sally’s example of a friend who “owns her life” in a special way why she serves her son with a disability.
  • In an immediate gratification society, not forgetting the long term process of your life. growing day by day, little by little.
  • Making sure you make time for yourself, to fill up before you pour out to the little people in your life.
  • Common barriers to owning your life.
  • Sally’s advice to a mom who was depressed<–LOVED THIS
  • Importance of believing the right philosophy–God is for you.

Connect with Sally:

Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Instagram

Links:

Featured Sponsor: Thrive Market

Get $20 shopping credit when you sign up for a Thrive Market Membership. https://thrivemarket.com/dma

Direct download: SofMWk4SallyClarkson.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed.

Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created.

And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land.

She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us.

As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow.

What we chat about:

  • All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church
  • Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it
  • The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created
  • Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children
  • Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming
  • Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people
  • Why equipping kids early is important
  • Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us
  • Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable
  • Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities

Connect with Dorena:

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Links Mentioned:

Other books/sites that Dorena recommends: 
Direct download: SOMDorenaWilliamson.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Rachel Anne Ridge is an author, professional artist, and speaker in Texas. Together with her husband Tom, she bootstrapped her way through the Great Recession, raised a family, and rediscovered her purpose in the midst of the everyday juggle of life. Her books, Flash, The Homeless Donkey Who Taught Me About Life, Faith, and Second Chances, and Walking with Henry are inspired by the stray donkeys (yes, donkeys) who interrupted her juggling act and revealed how ordinary (and sometimes hilarious) events help us find our higher purposes and deeper faith. Rachel is mom to three adult children and Nana to five littles.

 

Little did I know when I asked Rachel to be on the podcast, that the day before our interview she wrote a viral blog post encouraging the lonely mom of older kids (click here to read it).

 

Her honest, yet hopeful words, are what I’m sure caused 37,000 + people on Facebook to like her words. She admits the hard parts but encourages moms to keep their eyes on the bigger purpose.

Show Highlights: 

  • Rachel shares personal parenting challenges and what she (and her husband) did to overcome them.
  • Discover a variety of ways to get God-centered (none of which include getting up early).
  • Hear Rachel’s parenting regret and advice on how to avoid it.
  • Be encouraged by Rachel’s greatest parenting strength.
  • For the mom of older children, listen to Rachel’s thoughts on how discipline changes during this stage to a coaching role
  • Most importantly hear the Truth of God’s great love for you and your family.

Links: 

Connect with Rachel:

Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter :: Pinterest :: Instagram

Featured Sponsor: 

Thrive Market  go to https://thrivemarket.com/dma use DMA to get $20 of store credit. 

Direct download: SOMRachelAnneRidge.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

With more family togetherness than ever before comes the potential for a lot more arguing and nagging our kids to obey. If you’re stuck in a parenting rut or negative cycle, then our friends from Connected Families are here to help. 

Stacey Bellward and Chad Hayenga join me to talk about breaking the patterns of defensiveness in our kids and how the power of curious questions can create productive conversations and build wisdom.

“I think as we look at scripture and we consider how Jesus approached people, you know, it was surprising to me when I first learned that Jesus asked 307 questions that are recorded in the gospels. And that's a lot of questioning. And we think about Jesus as being a great teacher. Jesus is a great teacher, but he often times uses questions to build wisdom and to hold people accountable.”

If you want to go deeper after listening to this show, Connected Families is offering a special promo code for Don’t Mom Alone listeners for their Power of Questions online course. With the code DMA20 it’s just $30. 

Connect with Connected Families: 

 

Links Mentioned:  

 

Featured Sponsor:

  • GoMacro -- check out Macro Bars GoMacro.com . Get 30% off your order with the promo code DMA (free shipping on orders over $60).
 
Direct download: StaceyChadEp292.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Author and speaker Lisa Bevere is back to give us a powerful message as we head into summer with our kids: “push aside the guilt and celebrate growth.”

She shares some personal stories from very hard places in her life as a young mom and how God led her to work through her anger and underlying fears. 

“God said to me: ‘Children inherit one of two things, either my promises or your fears.’ And that I needed to face off with these things. I leaned into that process because of my son. Not because of me. I just came to the place where I realized that in my weakness, he is strong. I've watched God take every weak place in my life and inhabit it with his strength.”

I’m so thankful for how Lisa takes us into her story and points to God’s faithfulness to heal and restore our brokenness. She also encourages all of us to set aside the unnecessary guilt and heavy expectations we may be carrying in motherhood and to accept God’s mercy which is new every morning. 

Connect with Lisa: 

Links Mentioned:  

Sponsors:

Direct download: LisaBevereEp291.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

In the past two years, a lot has changed in the lives of my friends Hailey and Meredith. They came on episode 199 to talk about discipline and toddlers. Since that conversation their families have grown and changed. 

Today we’re chatting about tough transitions with parenting young kids. Whether it’s a newborn who won’t stop screaming or the anticipation of being outnumbered by a third child, change is hard for both parents and kids. 

Hailey and Meredith share how they’ve found hope in God during some difficult situations and how their community of friends have helped them not mom alone. 

“They reminded me that God is working in this. He has not left you. He is working in this situation. And that gave me a lot of hope. One specific friend said: You are serving the Lord when you are holding your screaming baby, when you are in there trying to teach her how to go to sleep. That is service to the Lord.”

 

Links Mentioned:  

Discipline & Toddlers :: Hailey Bain & Meredith Woodruff [Ep 199]

Meredith shared scripture from Lamentations 3:16-24

Foundations Book by Ruth and Troy Simons **

Meredith's business : Concrete Conversations

Hailey's business : Hey Honey Clothing Company and her Facebook Store

Sponsors:

Sunbasket -- Get $35 off your first order of meals over at Sunbasket.com/dma. Use code DMA.

Exploring the Bible Together --Now through May 25, 2020, Don’t Mom Alone listeners can pick up a copy of Exploring the Bible Together along with a selection of ESV children’s Bibles for 40% off with a free Crossway+ membership. For more information, visit  crossway.org/DMA8

Direct download: HaileyMeredithEp287.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Have you ever questioned the roles you find yourself in, wondering if you were made for more?  Jo Saxton found herself in that position a few years (and two babies) into her marriage. She shares her struggle to own her calling and gifting, choose to work outside the home, and how her family thrived when she let go of fear.

Fear is not our friend. It has these aggressive ways that intimidate you and it has these quiet ways where you just don't do things and you don't know that that kind of checking out. It is a fear-based thing because it's so automatic. You don't even call it fear anymore. They're just the things you don't do and the ideas you don't entertain anymore.

Now as a leadership coach and speaker, Jo affirms that God designed women for influence and impact. In her new book, Ready to Rise, she shares meaningful wisdom from her journey to leadership and shares information to empower other women to leaders in their own communities. 

Connect with Jo: 

Links Mentioned:  

Sponsors: 

Little Passports-- littlepassports.com use code DMA for 15% off

Story Worth -- storyworth.com/dma for $10 off 

SkyLight Frame -- skylightframe.com use code DMA for $10 off

Direct download: JoSaxtonEp283.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

As difficult as pregnancy and birth tend to be, the postpartum period can be the hardest of all. After all the anticipation you finally have your baby! But many women don’t feel like themselves. They feel sad or hopeless and struggle to connect with their babies. 

My guest Brittany J. Turner takes us into her story of postpartum depression and what it took for her to start a journey towards wholeness.

For me it was years of pain that I had never dealt with. They were feeding this lie that I was alone, that I was unworthy of being loved, not just in my marital and parenting relationships, but I was unworthy of being loved as a daughter, as a friend and that I deserve to be alone. And so therapy was my escape.

While postpartum depression can’t totally be prevented or even predicted, we also talk about what went differently after she had her next child and the big part friendships and deeper community played.

Connect with the Brittany: 

 Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsor: Seek and Find Bible

Go to crossway.org/DMA3 to save 40% off ESV children's Bibles now until March 16th. 

Direct download: BrittanyTurnerEp277.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

This week Don’t Mom Alone’s host Heather MacFadyen answers your questions! She shares everything from a favorite weeknight recipe to her personal testimony of faith and what worship song she has on repeat.

“That song to me just takes you to a place of setting aside all distraction and anything that's trying to pull you from his presence and his get you to a place of listening. I think sitting and listening to the Lord is probably where are we all struggle the most these days. We want to study, we want to check off something off a list, but to still ourselves and listen is really hard.”


If you have questions on helping your kids bond, how to find time to read the Bible while you’re raising little kids or want to know some of Heather’s favorite podcast guests, listen in!

(Big thanks to my virtual assistant Sarah-Jane Menefee for playing the role of host in this episode! She did a fantastic job!)

Connect with the Heather: 

 Episodes Mentioned:  

Links Mentioned:  

Featured Sponsor: ESV Seek and Find Bible crossway.org/DMA2 to save 40% off by March 9th. 

Direct download: HeatherEp276.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

The first guest in our mentorship series is Nancy Williams**. She is known by her 9 grandchildren & 4 great-grandchildren to label each family gathering as "the best ever". Her phrase perfectly summarizes this podcast.

The show first aired in February of 2014 (Episode 11) and was titled "Best Ever Life". Based on the title, you may be surprised to discover Nancy's motherhood journey includes many trials and heartache. But she views each challenge as an "opportunity" (her word) to see the power of God at work.

This interview is bursting with Truth and wisdom. Here's a brief summary of the topics we cover:

  • How to keep your thoughts and perspective in check when your husband works long hours.
  • Where to turn with your parenting questions.
  • How to respond when the consequences of sin enter your children's lives
  • How to share a simple family tradition of gratitude and love (fabulous idea!)
  • How to deal with mom guilt (a.k.a., the part of the podcast where I get emotional)
  • How to help your children turn to God when you can't meet all their needs.

SUCH good stuff.

I was most encouraged to hear this message from Nancy:

This can be the "best life ever", no matter the circumstances, if it includes eternal salvation for our children and unconditional love in our homes. 

Direct download: NancyWilliamsSofM1.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

I’m so excited to share my dear friend Erin Morgan with you in this episode! We go way back in friendship and in motherhood.

She is the introvert to my extrovert and in this chat we’re diving into how to thrive as an introvert mom. When she and I had younger kids, the constant togetherness of parenting was very draining for her.

“I was just completely overwhelmed, which causes me to withdraw and isolate big time. I just had no energy for other people. I wanted to pursue my friends and my relationships with other people, but there was just no margin for that in my mind.”

We talk about how she learned more about herself as she learned about the gift that introversion can be. As she asked God where she should invest her life, he encouraged her that focusing on motherhood and a few deep friendships was his best for her.

“I had to get with the Lord and be reminded that what I'm doing in this season of life with my children and my family is a true ministry and is where God has me. And I really felt like he was impressing on me this kind of motto for my life, which is that a small and faithful life is pleasing to the Lord.”

I’m so thankful for Erin and her introvert “super powers” of listening and passionate, faithful prayers. She is a thoughtful friend who has a lot of wisdom and encouragement for other introvert moms out there. Extroverts can learn a lot about their introvert friends by hearing what she shares too!

Direct download: ErinMorganFinalEp245.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 6:19am CDT

Direct download: SallyClarksonEp233.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:01am CDT

Direct download: DMA_-_225.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 7:46am CDT

Candace Cameron Bure is an actress, producer, New York Times bestselling author, beloved by millions worldwide from her role as D.J. Tanner on the iconic family sitcoms Full House and Fuller House and of course Hallmark Channel movies. (Christmas is coming and she has a new one coming out Nov. 25)

But, she’s also a mom of three children ages 16 to 20 and an outspoken Christian in the entertainment industry. She shares what it was like to grow up working in entertainment and the values her parents passed on to her. And about how she walks out her faith now as a busy working actress, a career she returned to after choosing to be a stay-at-home mom for 10 years.

We talk about her new children’s book “Candace Center Stage” and how it focuses on the values of hard work and courage, especially for our strong-willed children.

As she takes us into her world, she talks through how she stays calm and kind under pressure and lives for Jesus as she juggles the roles and the callings God has put on her life.

Direct download: DMA_-_223_FINAL_1.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 7:40am CDT

For day two of Don’t Mom Alone Live, Jim and Lynne Jackson are back to talk all about relationships and answer listener questions.

If you’ve ever felt like a bad parent because of your child’s disobedience or struggle to referee the sibling arguments and fights in your home, this episode is for you! The Jackson’s share their Peace process and how to be confident before God in how you are parenting.

It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So we need to have confidence in our ability to be peaceful and not let this child’s behavior define me or tell me that I’m a bad parent. And have the long-term view that God can do anything in a child’s life as I persevere in encouraging and teaching and training.

They share great practicals for blended families and for how to navigate parenting when you and your spouse or co-parent aren’t on the same page. We also dive into teaching your children empathy and social cues as a way to foster great friendships.

In the end, our goal can be to equip our kids to be conduits of God’s grace to the world both through their relationships with others, but it starts with their relationship with us.

When I thought about that the kind of relationships in life that Jesus bought for our kids on the cross, not just with each other but whatever relationships they’d have. I just had this image of “trickle down grace” starting from the cross and just trickling down through us to our kids and then out to the world and our kids. We can grow to become profound dispensers of grace in life to others.

What we chat about:

  • Getting feedback about our kids that makes you feel like a “bad parent”
  • Keeping the long-view when you are training your children
  • There is a dramatic increase in anxiety and depression in children, teens and young adults. It is five to eight times greater than it was 50 years ago.
  • What to do when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with parenting
  • Ask penetrating questions when your spouse is struggling to parent in kindness.
  • “What are you hoping our kids will learn right now?”
  • Blended family dynamics and how to co-parent well
  • You are building trust with your kids and when you are confident before God in how you are parenting, you can be at peace with how someone else is parenting
  • Ask kids: What do you want to tell me about how you’re feeling and how your time went?
  • Sibling rivalry and how conflict is an opportunity to teach our children how to reconcile
  • The Peace Process the Jackson’s teach: Calm > Understand > Solve > Celebrate
  • Celebrating that your kids reconciled is an important step to future success
  • When your kids feel encouraged and successful when working through conflict, you can see the momentum begin to change
  • Learning empathy as a family and equipping your kids to be more successful in friendship
  • Quick connects with individually with your kids can be more effective than playing with them for longer periods. Find ways to show that you delight in who they are!
  • Use mission trips and giving back to the community as your vacation/connection time as a family

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: DMALiveAfternoon2.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

For the first part of our 2018 Don’t Mom Alone live event, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, joined me & my husband Bruce to answer listener questions about discipline and how to use their framework for biblically-based parenting.

We share lots of stories of how we have failed as parents and learned along the way.

But then I started to realize maybe my humility was my greatest currency for influence to help her learn the lessons and the values and the things that mattered most… Our kids need to know we’re not perfect. They need to know that we’ll come back to them and say, ‘Hey I blew it. I’m sorry. Would you forgive me?’ And get back to reconciliation in those relationships. — Jim Jackson.

So good!

Jim and Lynne talk us through the parenting framework they’ve developed and redefining how we view discipline with our kids. Ultimately, it comes down to connecting with their hearts and leading them to Jesus instead of trying to control their behavior.

We can help kids embrace the wisdom of the righteous. And that really prepares the way for the Lord to come in our family in a strong way. Because in today’s day and age with all the craziness that’s going on, these kids need a form of discipline that’s not just about punitive correction but that’s about a whole way of life that teaches our kids how to be followers of Jesus. — Lynne Jackson

And it’s not just vision for how we want to parent, the Jacksons also share some super practical tips and give us some ways to respond to our defiant, strong-willed or sensitive kids.

What we chat about:

  • The basis for Jim and Lynn’s parenting framework
  • How do you parent proactively instead of reactively when you feel like you’re just surviving minute
  • What is our goal in parenting? Is it immediate obedience from our children or fostering their ability to make wise choices?
  • Bringing God’s grace into our messy moments
  • Why connecting with God is so essential to how we parent
  • Go into a situation asking, “Lord, what is the opportunity here?”
  • Helping our kids build wisdom instead of feeling the need to express our disappointment when they mess up
  • Trusting that our kids really want to do better
  • Separating behavior from identity in our kids
  • Humility and apologizing well may be our greatest currency as a parent
  • The idea of a parent do-over
  • Tips for parents of younger kids and encouragement for parenting kids who bite or hit
  • We tend to think of behavior as either all good or all bad
  • When our goal is to control their behavior, it doesn’t build trust
  • You don’t have to be mean to be strong as a parent
  • Big, loud, and loving energy can make a big difference in the middle of conflict
  • Luke 1:17- “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”
  • Strong-willed kids and the importance of calling out their giftings and how God made them
  • Sometimes it’s sensitive and intense children are labeled as strong-willed
  • Psalm 73:21-24 “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.”

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: DMALiveNight1.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Tricia Goyer is an author, speaker and homeschooling mom of ten. She also knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. If you’ve ever felt alone in how to calm your “angry kid(s),” Tricia has a lot of wisdom to share from parenting both biological and adopted children.

In true Don’t Mom Alone fashion, Tricia and I answer several listener questions about how to respond in love and help kids of all ages process their anger and emotions. We talk about how much harder it is for the current generation of moms who have to factor in busier schedules, social media and more as a part of their children’s environments

My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 8. It is so much harder now. I feel like I’m on the second generation of kids. Now there is social media. There is more television. There are more video games. The access that they have to all these things brings so much anxiety and tension. Not only do they have to go to school, but then they would come home and see on social media that people were talking about them. It’s just so much more involved now even than it was when I had my first generation of kids.

But it’s not impossible! Tricia shares so many great practical tips and suggestions for how to help our kids (and ourselves) work through anger in a healthy way. But beyond all the tips, it all comes down to leaning into God and praying for the Holy Spirit to fill them that will make the biggest difference.

It’s really the Holy Spirit in them and the fruit of the Spirit is God in them that’s going to change them. I could try all these activities. You know, we could do calming bags or coping skills. I mean we do all the things too. But really it is God in them. And the more they lean on God and the more they depend on him that they’ll truly change.

What we chat about:

  • Tricia’s family, career and unique calling as an adoptive parent
  • Her new book, Calming Angry Kids
  • Determining if your child is struggling with how to process anger in a healthy way
  • Giving our kids time, attention and praise is a powerful antidote to anger
  • Everyone gets mad, what we do with the anger makes the difference
  • When they are in the middle of the emotions, it’s not the time to discipline them
  • Kids learn to apologize when we model it for them
  • Anger is often a secondary emotion from a deeper wounding like shame or feeling unloved or anxiety
  • Family schedules are busier than ever before and it heightens anxiety in kids and parents
  • Take time to process emotions with your kids and say “No” to more activities or events if they need a break
  • Tricia shares both how we can process our own anger and how to help our angry kids
  • The idea of an anger log to help track anger over time
  • Calming bags and items you can include in them
  • Give your kids time and space to calm down
  • Specific tips for pre-teens and teens and helping them with anger and hormones

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

Direct download: TriciaGoyerEp220.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter.

My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance.

But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride.

If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life.

I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us.

What we chat about:

  • Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption
  • The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent
  • Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids
  • The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave
  • Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God
  • Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like
  • How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us
  • Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control
  • When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power
  • Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior
  • Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power
  • How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair
  • Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

Direct download: ElyseFitzpatrickEp219taketwo.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

In the thick of parenting it is easy to get our perspective skewed or react to our children from a place of emotion or our own sin. My guest Dr. Paul David Tripp gives a course-correcting pep talk reminding parents of their deep calling from God and how to look at discipline as an opportunity to connect our kids with God’s goodness.

“You’re never just dealing with behavior. You’re always dealing with what controls the child’s behavior and that’s his heart. And if God consciousness doesn’t rule my heart, self orientation will. That’s what has to change. No I can’t create that change, but I can I can give God’s Spirit an opportunity again and again to work in the heart of my child”

Tripp  is a pastor, international event speaker, and best-selling author. As a father of four grown children, he shares candidly from his own experience. This encouraging episode is packed with a lot of truth! Share with your spouse and friends!

What we chat about:

  • The deeper calling of on our lives as parents
  • We cannot rely on our kids to give us hope for parenting them.
  • How opening our children’s eyes to see God everywhere pulls them away from a self centered existence.
  • God created the world so that it’s very physical nature reveals him.
  • Root the rules that you have for your children in God’s goodness and his love and His grace.
  • Every opportunity we have to discipline or correct is not an opportunity first to threaten  with punishment but to talk about how good God is.
  • Ask the question, “What is God wanting to do in the heart of this child?”
  • Behavior is really about a child’s heart orientation
  • God way of parenting isn’t efficient, but it is transformational  .
  • The values of the world push against our calling as parents. We have to consider where we are placing our treasure and hope.
  • A God perspective for how to respond when your children sin
  • God is exposing something in my child so I can be part of his help and rescue.
  • Parenting is about planting seeds. We aren’t going to see them bloom overnight.
  • Dealing with rebellion and authority issues with grace and consequences
  • Parenting adopted children and helping them with identity
Direct download: PaulTrippEp212.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Teens. Toddlers. Moms.

No matter the age. We all struggle to remember (or know) the truth about who God says we are. And our position in Christ.

When we forget, we let friends, circumstances, or lies feed our souls with identity. And that takes us down the path of uncertainty,  harmful activities and a broken path.

Thankfully, today’s guest, Kristen Hatton, helps “Get Your Story Straight”.

When her daughter was in 6th grade, Kristen started teaching her and a group of friends truth from the Bible. Unfortunately, there weren’t a lot of great resources available for preteens/teens. So she used notes from her husband’s sermons and wrote her own Bible study. (click here to check it out)**

In this episode, Kristen and I talk about the struggle for our kids to know how “justification” applies to daily life. (And define what ‘justification’ means).

We also chat about how to help teens navigate the challenges of social media. And Kristen vulnerably shares her daughter’s battle with an eating disorder (which began with internalizing social media posts).

Lastly, Kristen helps us start to keep communication open with our kids. So when they are teens they will keep talking. I’m in the stage with lots of little people all trying to be with me and talk to me (at the same time). But after three blinks I’ll have a home full of teen boys. The time I spend listening now will impact how much they talk to me in the future.

Very thankful for the help, perspective and wisdom from Kristen. Now I can see the teenage years as an age of opportunity not a season to be feared.

What we chat about:

  • How quickly our kiddos grow into teenagers.
  • How Kristen saw a need for good bible study materials for teens.
  • Helping our kids be anchored in who God says we are (not who their friends on social media says they are).
  • Importance of teaching our kids the concept of justification.
  • When the world is measuring perfection and performance but we know we are only perfect in Christ.
  • How to communicate worth and identity to our kids.
  • Why teens stop talking to their parents.
  • Listening and asking probing questions.
  • Responding with grace instead of condemnation.
  • How internalizing social media posts led to her daughter’s eating disorder.
  • How boys struggle with social media.
  • How Kristen talks to her kids about the impact of social media.
  • Talking to your sons & daughters about pornography. Keeping an open conversation.
  • Reorienting your kids to the message of the gospel, moment-to-moment

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: SofM2018KristenHattonWk4.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Our children are growing up in a digital age with unparalleled access to technology. With these wonderful advances, comes a heavy responsibility we cannot ignore as parents. The access to pornography and sexual images and videos is everywhere and the age of children viewing them is going down.

But there is hope. My guest Ashley Januszewski is all about empowering parents to protect their children by talking candidly with them about God’s plan for their bodies and sex from an early age. We talk about everything from sexting and pornography to device control and screen time limits. She shares great resources for how to start these conversations with your children at any age.

It’s our job as parents, though this is the reality. Not to throw our hands in the air. It is our responsibility just like it is to buckle our children when we get in the car. So it’s our responsibility to virtually buckle up our children…. It’s everywhere. So it starts and ends with training the heart and equipping our kids. What to do when (not if) they are faced with this avalanche of filth. What do we do? We’ve got to talk about it.

What we chat about:

  • The story behind Ashley’s pursuit of information on parenting children in the digital age
  • Eleven is the average age for exposure to pornography in America.
  • Fear and anxiety can be signs that a young child has been exposed to something sexually inappropriate.
  • The coming of age experience today in 2018 looks radically different than what we experienced as kids.
  • There aren’t the natural barriers that used to exist to pornography. Now it is anonymous, accessible and affordable to anyone.
  • Our responsibility as parents to minimize exposure to pornographic material
  • 40 percent of teenagers today in America say that sending sexual or naked photos or videos is part of everyday life for them.
  • Make a plan for when and how you will introduce digital technology to your children
  • A family mantra or mission statement can help you stay centered on the truth of God in a world that is dominated by opinions
  • How screen time is affecting kids’ brains and hours spent on screens by tweens and teens
  • Teaching young children about the dignity and value bodies which can lead to wider conversations
  • Humanizing explicit images and an example of how to talk to your kids when you encounter them
  • Avoiding shame or blame when it comes to sexual images to keep the lines of communication open
  • Solutions for an Internet safer home- control the location of devices, control at the router and control on the devices
  • Sexting and child pornography laws and the importance of reporting

Links Mentioned:

**Amazon affiliate link

Direct download: GCMAshleyJanuszewskiEp207.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

There is a lot of pressure placed on moms to nurture and care for our families. Add the responsibilities of a full-time job on top of that and it easy to see why being a mom is called the hardest job in the world.

My friends Causha Jolly and Stacey McCabe share about life as working moms and the difficult balance they maintain everyday. I love how they share their hearts about being obedient to God’s assignment for them to work outside the home even in the difficult season of mothering little ones.

As a community of God-centered moms, we’re called to cheer on our sisters. It’s my hope that this episode will encourage you to bless and support other moms as they obey God.

Remember who you are in Christ, remember that you are called, remember that you are a daughter of the most high and never doubt that. 

(STAY TUNED. . .later this week I’ll release a blog post with more practical ideas on work/life balance from Causha)

What we chat about:

  • Causha and Stacy’s motherhood stories and why they chose to work outside the home
  • Why it’s harder for moms to travel and not worry about your kids vs. husbands traveling
  • How to respond when we fear we aren’t enough and struggle under the weight of expectations placed on moms
  • The difficulty of finding care for your kids while you work
  • The false internal judgement of good mom to bad mom scale
  • Feeling a divine assignment from God to be in a certain job
  • How it’s necessary to say, “No” to a lot when you have limited family time
  • The need to show grace for yourself so that you can have grace with your kids
  • Moms can’t be there every moment of every day, but Jesus will always be there
  • Teaching our kids to turn to Jesus to meet every one of their needs
  • Dealing with moments of insecurity as a working mom
  • When we judge a mom for her choices then we miss out on the blessing of supporting her in her obedience

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: GCMStaceyCausha.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Does it seem possible to draw our kids away from entitlement and toward the bigger “Yes” of God’s blessing for them and other people in their lives? Well, get excited because Jim and Lynne Jackson of Connected Families are back with parenting wisdom to address entitlement in our kids AND in ourselves.

We as parents feel entitled to grateful, hard working kids, and when we don’t get them an we have ungrateful, resistant-to-chores kids we get pretty upset. That shows that we feel entitled to how things go my way in the home. Instead of saying, ‘Oh! Wow we have some challenges here that I can partner with Jesus and really dive into.’

What we chat about:

  • Jim and Lynne Jackson introduce Connected Families and their parenting framework
  • The root of entitled behavior in our kids and the beliefs that back it up
  • Entitlement is the belief that I deserve something because I’m more important than someone else
  • Entitlement is about our sin nature and we’re all born into that
  • As believers we need to call out entitlement in our lives and choose to put God first
  • We as parents feel entitled to grateful, hard-working kids
  • The attitude we bring into parenting and our beliefs are reflected onto our kids
  • Helping our kids learn to work hard and celebrate accomplishments give them a dopamine burst in their brains that helps “rewire” them to want to work hard again
  • Letting go of the places we are coddling our kids by not expecting them to serve and do hard things
  • The “Bigger Yes” of God’s blessing for your kids and other people
  • Take it slow and consider your kid’s perspective as you make changes toward growing our kids out of entitlement
  • Determining the rights, privileges and responsibilities of your family
  • When our kids see the beliefs we fight for and see the joy we experience as we follow God and it inclines them to want that too

Links Mentioned:

 

Direct download: GCMJimLynneJacksonEp200.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

We know that God’s word is living and active. Today’s guest Jodie Berndt takes us through using Bible verses as prayers that can powerfully influence your children’s lives.

There is so much encouragement in this episode for standing on the truth of God’s word and relying on scripture to help shape your children, teens and adult children. Of course, we as moms can’t help but be changed when we hide his word in our hearts and pray them over our family.

We know that he is a loving God who knows our needs and our kids’ needs better than we know them. So when we lift our children to him and surrender them, he’s going to do for them what he knows they need. It might not be necessarily in the timing or the ways that he would’ve ordained, but in Isaiah 55 it says that his ways are higher and better than our ways. When we come to believe that, it can really bring peace to our lives.

What we chat about:

  • Using God’s word for prayers is powerful.
  • There isn’t a need we’ll face in parenting that God hasn’t provided for in his word.
  • Specific scriptures to pray for your child’s salvation
  • Asking God what we can nurture and pray for in each child’s unique giftings
  • God will accomplish the changes in your child’s character. Our job is to partner with him.
  • Praying against fear and for protection
  • Asking God to shape your children into good friends
  • Processing popular media with your kids and discussing how it aligns or doesn’t align with a Godly world view
  • The power of having others pray for your kids in community
  • When prayers aren’t answered the way we want, God is still writing their stories.
  • Free resources available at https://jodieberndt.com/resources

Scriptures Mentioned:

  • Ephesians 4:29 – Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
  • John 15:7 – If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
  • Psalm 121:7-8 – The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
  • Acts 26:18 –  Open their eyes and turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God, so that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me.
  • 2 Corinthians 5:17 –  Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
  • Colossians 3:12 – Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.
  • Philippians 2:13 – for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.
  • Psalm 91:11 – For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
  • Proverbs 17:17 – Shape my child into a friend who loves at all times
  • Proverbs 27:17 – As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
  • Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: GCMJodieBerdtEp194.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

So much of parenting is really about the work God is doing in our own hearts. Jeannie Cunnion shares her story of being set free from the shame of her past and learning to let go of performance-based parenting.

If you feel there IS something that separates you from the love of God, this is the episode for you. Jeannie shares encouraging truth and practical applications for giving ourselves and our kids grace.

What we chat about:

  • Why we need to be set free from shame of our pasts to live in the freedom of Christ.
  • Jeannie’s story of a painful, short-lived marriage and the shame she carried from it.
  • What performance-based parenting looks like.
  • Shame-driven messages vs. grace-driven messages.
  • We all have things that we believe will separate us from God, but he says nothing will separate us.
  • Research about children who grow up in Christian homes.
  • The importance of talking to our children about our failings and God’s grace.
  • Creating a home of confession instead of a home of perfection.
  • Acknowledge that we’re all going to make mistakes and that’s ok.
  • Jeannie’s Three R’s: Remember, Rely and Recognize
 

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: GCMJeannieCunnionEp190.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 12:30am CDT

Heather MacFadyen, mother of four boys, interviews guests discussing the topic of staying God-centered...both replacing "me" with "He" and remembering we are centered in Him.  

Direct download: GCMEp140ShontellBrewer.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 10:13pm CDT

What if your son can't read as he enters first grade? What if your daughter prefers wrestling to ballet? What if your living room sofa has a couple rips and stains from a decade of use?

These things shouldn't be a big deal. But then you notice your friend's first grade boy is reading chapter books. . . and her daughter gracefully glides into class with a giant bow on her head . . . and their living room just got a make-over with coordinating floor-to-ceiling curtains.

Personally? My feelings of "less than" often start at a place of comparison. I know I shouldn't compare. I know it doesn't make me feel good. Yet day after day I glance around making sure I keep pace with the Joneses.

How do I move past comparison to contentment? And even more important, how do I get to a place where I can celebrate her athletic child or new couch or beach vacation?

Well, today's podcast guest, Kay Wyma, shines a light on the age old comparison problem and guides us to a better place of connection and true community.

In Kay's latest book, "I'm Happy for You (Sort Of . . .Not Really)", she helps readers find contentment in a culture of comparison.

"Looking at what we lack prevents us from noticing how sweet the world already is. But when we shift our focus from what could be to what actually is, we find extraordinary joy in our ordinary lives." 

I've been a big Kay fan since a dinner party over six years ago.  As I sat hugely pregnant with our 3rd son, she encouraged me in my role as young mom.

Kay is authentic, brilliant and refreshing.  My hope is her wisdom and practical tips in this episode help you stop comparing and draw you closer to the women you interact with daily.

What we chat about:

  • Encouraging one another by running alongside, instead of determined to "win"
  • Focusing on "being together" more than hosting the perfect dinner party
  • Being our best instead of being "the best", discovering our "you"-niqueness
  • How a "mental" computer reboot (cnt/alt/del) helps fight comparison
  • Whose light is revealing your reflection (& the Kylie Jenner Challenge)
  • How to help our kids navigate social media and speak life to their friends
  • How our friends can help us "reboot" the messages we believe.
  • How to enter back-to-school with fresh perspective, moving from comparison to compassion (repurposing school supplies).
  • Why I can never look at an Instagram pic of feet on the beach the same way.

Connect with Kay:

The MOAT Blog :: Facebook :: Twitter

Links Mentioned:

Direct download: GCMEp85KayWyma.mp3
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 2:51pm CDT

Direct download: Hope_for_the_Struggling_Mom-_with_September_McCarthy_Ep._15.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 8:49am CDT

Direct download: Temperament_Guide_GCM_Ep_14.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 11:50pm CDT

Heather interviews Rachel Anne Ridge. 

Direct download: Parenting_Joy_GCM_ep_13_with_Rachel_Anne_Ridge.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 10:48pm CDT

Heather interviews her mentor's mentor, Nancy William. A grandma to 10 and great-grandma to 4, Nancy provides wisdom and great perspective. She also shares a family gratitude tradition dating back 40 years. Also discussed: mom guilt, best parenting resource, praying with your kids, and husbands who work a lot. 

Direct download: The_BEST_Ever_Life_GCM_Episode_11_with_Nancy_Williams.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 9:17pm CDT

Heather interviews Crystal Stine, mother to two-year old Maddie. Crystal shares her story of reluctantly walking into motherhood. The humbling process of experiencing a miscarriage. The joy of having her daughter. She also gives ideas for ways she makes time to spend in God's word throughout a busy day of juggling a full-time (outside the home) job and being a mom.  

Direct download: First_Time_God-Centered_Mom_Episode_10_with_Crystal_Stine.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 3:58pm CDT

Heather interviews Amanda White about ministering to families while staying home with kids. Finding God's big dream while serving those right in front of you. They also discuss Amanda's Christmas Advent curriculum, "Truth in the Tinsel"...daily devotional and ornament crafts for little hands leading up to Christmas. 

Direct download: GCMep3OhAmanda.m4a
Category:motherhood -- posted at: 2:59pm CDT

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