When she got married, Jamie Ivey became a pastor’s wife. Stepping into this role made her feel there was no one who she could be fully open with about her past. But, keeping these secrets kept her in shame and insecurity.

In her new book, If You Only Knew**, she shares how opening up about her past revealed the beauty of God’s grace in her life and about the freedom it has brought her and others.

(If you want to hear my “If You Only Knew” story about anxiety and anger, check it out over on Jamie’s “The Happy Hour” podcast.)

What we chat about:

• Jamie Ivey’s story reconciling her past with her Christian walk.
• How sharing your story can show the beauty of God’s grace and redemption.
• Examining our underlying motivation for decisions.
• We are not in control of our kids’ salvation and that is a good thing!
• How to find a friend who is safe to share your full story with and how to be that type of friend.
• We can have compassion for the broken when we realize that it’s only by the grace of God we haven’t made bigger mistakes.
• Bringing discipline with your kids back around to the Gospel because that’s where the freedom lies.
• The importance of community and allowing others to speak truth into our lives when we fall into places of shame and guilt.
• God sees the righteousness of Jesus and not our shame when he looks at us.
• When to tell our kids about our stories and how important it is to talk about sex and places of sin in our homes first.

“If You Only Knew” book **:

• Mary Flo Ridley & Megan Michelson — Episode 153– Continuing the Conversation (Birds & Bees)
• The Birds & Bees, So Help Me Please — Mary Flo Ridley
• Celebrate Recovery
• Steps into God’s Grace by Lynn Hoffman**
• Recovery for Life –Lynn Hoffman Episode 129

So much of parenting is really about the work God is doing in our own hearts. Jeannie Cunnion shares her story of being set free from the shame of her past and learning to let go of performance-based parenting.

If you feel there IS something that separates you from the love of God, this is the episode for you. Jeannie shares encouraging truth and practical applications for giving ourselves and our kids grace.

What we chat about:

• Why we need to be set free from shame of our pasts to live in the freedom of Christ.
• Jeannie’s story of a painful, short-lived marriage and the shame she carried from it.
• What performance-based parenting looks like.
• Shame-driven messages vs. grace-driven messages.
• We all have things that we believe will separate us from God, but he says nothing will separate us.
• Research about children who grow up in Christian homes.
• The importance of talking to our children about our failings and God’s grace.
• Creating a home of confession instead of a home of perfection.
• Acknowledge that we’re all going to make mistakes and that’s ok.
• Jeannie’s Three R’s: Remember, Rely and Recognize

Links Mentioned:

• Courtney DeFeo
• Jacque Watkins  
• Mudstory with Jeannie Cunnion–shattering shame and perfectionism
• Mom Set Free book** and Mom Set Free Bible Study** by Jeannie Cunnion
• How to {really} parent with grace Episode 55
• Anchoring Our Kids’ Lovability in Christ Episode 91

As an author, event planner, teacher, wife, mom of 10 and grandmother to 2, September McCarthy has plenty to fill her days. She relates to the universal exhaustion on our mom souls–the beating ourselves up and the fighting for joy. 

September has so much wisdom to share from what God has taught her in seasons of busyness and motherhood in different stages.

Listen as we go through questions from GCM listeners on motherhood topics including finding joy in the hard times, the value of rest and bringing your children alongside you in your work as a mom.

As moms we are going to be tired. Might as well be tired over the things that bring you joy. And choose those things.

What we chat about:

• September’s motherhood story including miscarriages & infant loss. 
• Answers to questions from moms like you.
• Focusing less on feeling the joy in your days and more on gratitude.
• When you are in the busy seasons of life, be cautious what you take on. Ask yourself, do I need to do this?
• Not letting our “fear of missing out” for children direct our decisions. 
• The importance of guarding our thoughts and taking negative thoughts captive.
• “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:2
• There is value and strength in rest and doing what God wants for your body.
• Find one to two moms who can help you when you need it.
• Let go of feeling like you need to everything well and enjoy it.
• Bringing your kids into you work as a mom and encouraging them to work as a team.
• Tips on teaching character to kids who want your attention all the time.

Links Mentioned:

• Hope for the Struggling Mom September McCarthy on Episode 15   
• Why Motherhood Matters book **
• Start a GCM Podcast Club
• Parenting Scripts by Wendy Speake & Amber Lia**
• What Triggers Your Angry Reaction Episode with Amber Lia

If you’ve ever ended the day feeling like a failure and critiquing every misstep, then this episode on practicing self-compassion is for you.

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, Kim Fredrickson has counseled and taught others about self-compassion for years. When she received an unexpected terminal diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis, a rare side-effect of the treatment she had received for breast cancer, she wrote a book to leave for her children on giving that same compassion to the grandchildren she may never meet.

When people feel ashamed, they blame other people because they feel like if I really look at my shame then I’m going to collapse inside. That’s why self-compassion is desperately important because kids feel shame a lot. They fail at everything at the start.

What we chat about:

• Kim’s story of receiving a devastating diagnosis after completing treatment for breast cancer
• How she’s chosen to spend the years she has left with her family
• The new book she wrote for when her children have kids called “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children”
• How it’s a process to develop a compassionate inner voice
• Applying grace and truth to every situation in our lives
• Variety of temperaments–some that are harder on themselves than others.
• The difference between self-compassion and self-pity
• Encouraging your children to practice self-compassion and reinforcing it by showing ourselves that same
• Giving our kids the language to identify their failings and separate them from their self- worth
• Moms have a really hard job. It’s ok to acknowledge that.
• The importance of taking care of ourselves as moms
• How to talk to your kids after you’ve been hard on yourself and reframing it with self compassion

Links Mentioned:

• Kristi Clover — Simply Joyful Podcast
• Give Your Kids a Break : Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children **
• Give Yourself a Break ** 
• Compassionate Self-Statements and Self-Soothing Exercises (CD and download)
• Kind and Compassionate Words to Soothe Your Soul  (Download)